Texting and Dating, or Texgate lol 2011

I hope I don’t get in trouble for this.

My friend forwarded me an email from a friend of a friend. It contained a text message conversation between a girl named Jana* and Michael,  a guy she went on one date with. According to the background information I was given, Michael was a seemingly normal, educated (I wish I knew where so I could advise you all not to send your children to that school) 30-year-old. Jana did not anticipate the barrage of strangely-spelled texts she would receive immediately after their very first  date.

Jana is a much nicer lady than I would have been. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it is stupidity with a lack of self-awareness. What really gets me about this is that Michael really seems to think the phrase is “tex message.” Tex. It’s not exactly a typo when he not only uses “tex” repeatedly, but he pluralizes it to “texs.”


And honestly, there is no excuse for any 30-year-old man to use “lol” or emoticons in his text messages.

*Names have been changed to protect both the innocent and the stupid

The date took place on a Sunday evening.


11:12pm – Missed call from Michael

Michael (11:17pm) : was just callin to to say i had a nice night w. u. u seem very real.

DSB note: When trying to impress, use your grown-up words, kids. Even in text messages.

Michael (11:21pm): Don’t really know how u felt about seeing me again… don’t want to waste time… if i am not 4 u or whatever its all good just let me know..i don’t like getting my hopes up for no reason

DSB note: In my experience, it takes more work to get to the numbers section and type in “4” than it is to just write out “for.” Laziness is one thing. Stupidity is another.

Michael (11:31pm): Not trying to make things intence lol. i am just a brutally honest person on the way i feel and just want to know if u really do want to continue hangin in the future.

DSB note: College-educated people should know how to spell “intense.”

Michael (11:49pm): Haha you’re making me sweat out a responce lol, its all good either way just let me know:)

DSB note: And “response.”

Michael (11:56pm): All I ask for is honesty:)

Michael (12:09am): Passin out soon. don’t want to sound desperate for a responce w anymore texs…I am not going to texs you anymore..don’t know even know if u got my texs yet.

DSB note: texs texs texs texs

Michael (12:15am): If I don’t hear back from u then I guess it was nice hanging w u and wish u the best..any responce though wud be the right thing to do..i can handle rejection

Michael (12:21am): I’m a big boy lol

Michael (12:27am): And sorry for the rambling tex messages I am a rambler when i tex lol. will not tex u or call u anymore unless u tell and repsond u want to see me again

DSB note: If only he kept his word about texing…


Michael (8:18 am): Wow!! can’t believe u just ignored me and didn’t even give me answer if you want to see me again that all i asked!! Very rude and not nice. I treated u very well at dinner and even gave u a ride home

Michael (8:22 am): And to ignore me is so f*ckup

DSB note: So very f*ckup

Michael (8:26 am): I didn’t even care if I wasn’t for u. there’s a million in the sea but to ignore some is so childish

DSB note: Oh. IGNORING is what’s childish here.

Jana (8:27 am): Morning! Just got all these msgs! Not gonna lie – they’re kind of freaking me out…

Michael (8:28am): Ahhh, I thought u were just ignoring me cause I sent the when I got home.

Jana (8:30am): Ah. Nope. My phone was charging + I went to sleep early, food coma.

Michael (8:31am): Hahah. I am such an idiot ha

DSB note: Yep.

Michael (8:34am): I am sorry I just liked u and thought u were ignoring me!

Michael (8:35am): Yes I rambled w the text message cause I wanted to go to sleep knowing how u felt

Michael (8:36am): I had not been on a good date w a girl I liked in 4 ever. sorry i came off as intence w the texs i know

DSB note: Some very intence texs!

Jana (8:36am): I had a great time at dinner. But these msgs are kid of off putting, Gotta get ready for work now

Michael: (8:43am): I was very into you what can I say. i f*ckup w the tex messages and i am sorry.. i think we should still hang again. they were just tex messages lol. have a nice day at work…and don’t let a tex message be the determiner of u seeing me again

DSB note: Michael is right. A tex message lol should not be the determiner. But we are up to 18 tex messages lol now.

Michael (8:46am): If u don’t see me again it won’t be from the texts it will be because you not that into me at dinner…i know how these things work

DSB note: That is how these things work? Perhaps I should experiment with my own tex messages lol then. Boys, prepare yourselves!

Jana (8:50am): Thx. All the txting is a bit much. No one has ever sent me 40 msgs like that. Can I just have a bit of space to process all of this.

Michael (8:57am): It wasn’t 40 lol your exaggerating it was like 7-10. Anyways u don’t have to process me. I am a great guy and got a little ocd with the texs. u should want to see me again.

DSB note: The tex message count is up to 20.

Michael (8:58am): And if u need to process seeing me based on 7 tex messages that i sent u only because i really liked u and wanted to know if we were on the same page then ovs your not 4 me.

DSB note: In addition to spelling, Michael needs to learn addition.

Michael (9:00am): I don’t want someone who loses interest over tex messages that were only meant last night in a good way cause i cared about knowing how u felt cause i didn’t want to get my hopes up for no reason

Michael (9:08am): Sorry for the drama but your obvs not for me if u need space to think about whether i am for u based on tex messages. take care be well it would have been great continuing to hang further as i feel like we had great chemistry together. best of luck.

DSB note: According to his theory, I doubt there are any girls that are obvs for him.

Jana (9:11am): Yes. To be totally forthright. the level of intensity is just too much for me so I guess I am not for you after all. regardless, had a nice time at dinner, take care and good luck to you as well:)

Michael (9:14am): Just be honest =) one last thing before we never speak again..did you really want to see me again before i sent you those text messages? or after the date you felt “nice guy but not really 4 me..” cause u don’t know how angry i am at myself for blowing it w u cause of tex messages…

Michael (9:18am): Cause i got the impression by ur energy when u got out of the cab that u weren’t that into me prob would have not seen me again even if i dint write you seven texs.

DSB Note: 25 texs.

Jana (9:19am): don’t be angry with yourself. you’re just doing you. just not the way i am used to communicating. have a good one Michael. be well. bye.

Michael (9:22am): yes, all i was asking about was did u really want to see me again after the date B4 the tex messages??? please just answer that question honestly that is all I ask of u.

Michael (9:24am): Just for my records so I will know how to behave differently the next time I take out a girl.

DSB note: How about stopping after one tex?

Jana (9:25am): Yes.

Michael (9:29am): Uchhhh. u don’t know how shitty i feel now that u say yes. the tex messages were rambled based on scardem and you’re wrong its not me to behave in that matter…

DSB note: At first I thought “scardem” meant “sarcasm” and I was confused. My friend explained to me that Michael is trying to use a word that would be better articulated as”scaredom” — also not a real word.

Michael (9:31am): I liked u so much and hadn’t like one person I went out with in 3 months…. when u didn’t respond i panicked and behaved in intence manner. i wish u could give me another chance and give me three strike rule like baseball…

Michael (9:35am): can u give me two more strikes or even one???? :) I do have a heart you will miss out

Jana: (9:40am): I am sure you do. You are a nice guy. I just don’t think we are a good match. I will let you know if I change my mind. I really have to focus on work now though so please stop with the texts, thanks!

THURSDAY (she had told him on their Sunday date that she had book club on Wednesday night)

Michael (6:15 pm): Jaaanaaaa… hey sweet thang.. how was book club?

DSB note: OK seriously, what is wrong with him‽

Michael (6:20pm): Did you read any nice novels?

Michael (9:00 pm): Ok i c i am peaced. whatever nighty night.

Michael (9:16): I got other girls lined up anyways

DSB note: Good luck with that


Michael (8:09 pm): hey wsup…

Michael (8:16 pm): ok bein shut down>>>later…your loss over a tex message lol

DSB note: 36 tex messages lol

Michael (8:27 pm): u will never find someone as good as me thats 4 sure…good luck

DSB note: Somehow, I doubt that

Listen, boys. My girlfriends and I Gchat about our crappy dates and the ridiculous and absurd situations we find ourselves in. My friend Jackie and I have a little saying that goes something like this:

What is wrong with EVERYONE?!

That phrase applies perfectly to Michael. What is wrong with him? I wonder how he could have appeared normal to Jana at all during the date because idiocy at this level usually permeates all modes of conversation. But for whatever reason, she thought he was a regular non-moron.

This text exchange has made the rounds. Someone sent it to my friend, my friend sent it to me, I sent it to a few friends and the entire internet. Girls will talk.

If Michael happens upon the blog post, hopefully he will glean some insight. But I bet he won’t — some people just don’t get it. Michael is clearly one of those. lol.

Read Texgate lol 2011: The Aftermath



112 comments on Texting and Dating, or Texgate lol 2011

  1. Fred D
    April 28, 2011 at 7:26 am (7 years ago)

    Very Entertaining, Dori…..! What I am fascinated by the most is the lack of actual conversation. Not once in that entire exchange did either of them suggest a phone call. I bet if they actually spoke, the entire line of conversation would have been completely different. Moral of the story: use tex (ha!) To say, “when are you free to chat?” …. And leave it at that! I come from an era of conversation. Social beings today type too much.

  2. jenna k
    April 28, 2011 at 1:08 pm (7 years ago)

    our phrase for these situations is “he is not real.”

  3. Carly D. @ CarlyBananas
    April 29, 2011 at 4:18 pm (7 years ago)

    I really can’t believe this is a 30 year old man texting. Yikes.
    Carly D. @ CarlyBananas´s last blog post ..Achoo!

  4. Jessica
    April 29, 2011 at 7:36 pm (7 years ago)

    This seriously is the best thing I’ve read in months. Wow.

  5. diana@mymarblerye
    April 30, 2011 at 8:23 am (7 years ago)

    OMFG. hahahahahahahhahahahaahahhaahahahahha no wonder he is single and tell your friend to get a restraining order ASAP. homeboy is crazy
    diana@mymarblerye´s last blog post ..My Last Friday

  6. Megan (The Runner's Kitchen)
    April 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm (7 years ago)

    hahaha, omg. i feel like i had a similar AIM experience back in the 10th grade. maybe it’s the same dude? thanks for posting this – you made my weekend!!

  7. Katy
    May 3, 2011 at 10:16 am (7 years ago)

    This is amazing. Best blog post of the week. And it makes me VERY glad to be married and away from the dating scene. :)

  8. Jolene
    May 3, 2011 at 9:03 pm (7 years ago)

    um wow. this is in-sane. Dude, pick up the phone, call and if she doesn’t call you back, get over it!
    Jolene´s last blog post ..Complacency

  9. Jessica
    May 3, 2011 at 10:46 pm (7 years ago)

    Maybe he was…Asian? You know, just by the way he was forgetting words in sentences…like they say, “Noo…That not for you.”

    And I hear they do it faster in Tokyo. 😉

    • Zing
      December 29, 2011 at 6:35 pm (6 years ago)

      Maybe he was Asian? My guess would be no. Ignorant and foolish? Without a doubt (and not alone in this world, to be sure). If we follow the stereotype, Asians don’t forget words in their sentences because–as we all know–Asians have remarkable memories; they just leave words out because English vocabulary, syntax, and grammar is foreign to them. Amazingly, other foreigners

      Btw, I also have no doubt that if they “do it faster” in Tokyo, they do it better–just ask our American automotive and electronics industries–and they do it again and again and again. How do they do it where you’re from (I imagine there must be quite a bit of knuckle-dragging wherever that is.).

      • Zing
        December 29, 2011 at 6:37 pm (6 years ago)

        Excuse me: Amazingly, other foreigners–from continents other than Asia–do this as well. 😉

    • KaBone
      December 29, 2011 at 7:03 pm (6 years ago)

      Uh, Jessica, is the Asian reference supposed to be a troll? Asia is the planet’s largest continent that includes India, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Mongolia, and arguably Russia and the other former Soviet Republics among others. Japan being a separate island is arguably not part of Asia. Care to guess my nationality?

      • Nucksnbolts
        December 29, 2011 at 10:16 pm (6 years ago)

        I’m confused KaBone, Although Japan isn’t mainland Asia continentally Japan is considered a part of Asia and not the Pacific Islands. I’m caucasian but I am not trying to be ignorant like Jessica (by the way loved Zing’s response about her downright stupidity and racist response.) Just confused by your response. Studied japanese in University and spent a few years in the 90s working largely with Japanese clientele, wished I had kept up it is a beautiful language.

  10. Lee
    May 4, 2011 at 8:01 am (7 years ago)

    I met this guy in a bar once and gave him my number. He proceeded to call me 17 times that night – none of which I answered. On the 18th call, I picked up and said something to the effect of, “Stop calling me you f’n pyscho” and he stopped…for the night. Then he called me the next morning to apologize for calling so much.
    This totally reminds me of that.

    • furcifer
      December 31, 2011 at 4:23 pm (6 years ago)

      What an ass: Calling a number you gave him. The nerve!

  11. Tarah
    May 4, 2011 at 4:49 pm (7 years ago)

    I never comment on blogs…I felt inclined to here. My friend posted this on FB, and I had to repost! It was great enough to even make me subscribe! This story hit very close to home and I am now sharing my related horror stories with my friends…because yes, girls will talk!

  12. Jocelyn @ Enthusiastic Runner
    May 7, 2011 at 12:41 pm (7 years ago)

    1. Was he drunk when he texted these messages? (not an excuse but at least it would make a little more sense)

    2. Did they meet on Match.com (or a dating website) because I feel like this is the type of guy you would meet on match.com??!? Stalker boy.
    Jocelyn @ Enthusiastic Runner´s last blog post ..Will you go to Prom with me

    • Billy
      December 30, 2011 at 12:14 pm (6 years ago)

      i am on match.com and not everyone is like that guy! Im not saying im defending the guy, because obviously that was a lot of texts, but she couldve responded to the first one at least….

      • k
        December 30, 2011 at 8:24 pm (6 years ago)

        He gave her a very short time to reply to the first tex message. Not only that but not everyone is nailed to their phone. She clearly explained later that it was her first chance to respond to him. You seem not to understand what happened and actually defend this guy? Hmm.. must sign up to match.com……

      • Billy
        January 3, 2012 at 9:46 am (6 years ago)

        k, i did not say i was defending him. You seem pretty snobby too, you should be a little more friendly

      • Dori
        January 3, 2012 at 9:48 am (6 years ago)

        I’m sorry, didn’t mean to come off that way. Just clarifying I was joking in saying she owes him.

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  13. Kelly
    November 14, 2011 at 3:44 pm (6 years ago)

    This is my new favorite thing, ever. Shared it on facebook.

  14. Simi
    November 15, 2011 at 5:55 pm (6 years ago)

    OMG Thank you for sharing LOL I loved this

  15. Lauren
    December 10, 2011 at 1:03 pm (6 years ago)

    “Jana” is so fortunate. I had this situation x 10 with a 35 year of man. (I found out later he lied about his age, he was older). The scariest part of all is that these people seem normal at first and function perfectly among business associates, then when it comes to possible romance the true psycho is finally revealed…the side all his regular friends and colleagues will never see. It’s very scary. It came down to me wondering whether I should get an order of protection or would that inspire him to do something to me because of it. That’s a decision you should never have to make in life.

  16. John H
    December 29, 2011 at 5:31 pm (6 years ago)

    Thank goodness we didn’t have “texing” during my formative years, or who knows how much of my own idiocy would have been saved for posterity. Well, at least my idiocy would have been properly spelled.

  17. Fred
    December 29, 2011 at 8:14 pm (6 years ago)

    So did they bang or what? The least this woman could do is spread open her vag on the first date.

    • Dori
      December 30, 2011 at 9:40 am (6 years ago)

      That’s what I’m saying! She owes him!

      • Billy
        December 30, 2011 at 12:19 pm (6 years ago)

        Dori, the truth is, she obviously wasn’t interested. I have been on the giving and receiving end of these situations. If im interested in a girl it doesnt matter how much she texs me… (hahaha, had to do that!)… i mean texts me. She was probably trying to be nice and do the “ignore” method, which is fine, everybody does it. But do you think id have a problem with Gisele texting me 40 times….NOPE! Again, not defending him, just giving another perspective.

      • Dori
        January 1, 2012 at 1:39 pm (6 years ago)

        Billy…I was joking in my comment above.

      • Billy
        January 3, 2012 at 9:48 am (6 years ago)

        haha, I know you were Dori, i wasnt replying to that post, i was just making a general statement about text happy dude. Apparently some peeps on here think im defending this guy but im really not, i just have a problem with some girls not cutting guys some slack sometimes. How was your New Year’s? Did you do anything fun?

  18. Nucksnbolts
    December 29, 2011 at 10:24 pm (6 years ago)

    So glad I’m married and have a beautiful loving wife, But please remember this isn’t just a guy thing women drink alot of crazy koolaid as well. No offense ladies not trying to make any of you crazy….. oops I mean angry.

  19. Ian
    December 30, 2011 at 12:53 am (6 years ago)

    A friend just sent this too me, and it is absolutely mind blowing. I’m a guy, and a few years younger than Michael, and his lack of intelligence and his immaturity is almost too much to even handle. However, I will say it isn’t JUST guys that do this. I’ve been on the end of a couple of these from girls, but I definitely know way more guys that get insecure and do it.

  20. Sharon Scott
    December 30, 2011 at 11:06 am (6 years ago)

    So, Exactly what was wrong with that?- Easy folks;I’m kidding. I have actually had similar situations. I always still feel like a bitch even though they are apparently not stable. I guess it is because at some point I just feel sorry for them. Like it has been said already,you wonder if they will ever really get it. (By “it” I mean therapy)

  21. Ryan
    December 30, 2011 at 11:31 am (6 years ago)

    I think Jana is lucky to have found out so quickly that this guy is a loser. Imagine if it had taken a couple months for this to happen. At least all she lost was one evening and a week of annoying texs (is this getting old yet?).

  22. Dangerous Lilly
    December 30, 2011 at 2:53 pm (6 years ago)

    Wow this guy makes some of the losers I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with seem TAME. Jana was entirely too nice to him. However upon further reflection I think she was being more cautious than nice….she was smart enough to recognize a potential psycho stalker ax murderer and knew that antagonizing him would ensure her untimely and gory death.
    Dangerous Lilly´s last blog post ..Sex toys, Weasel Words, MomentumCon and Contact Form Fun!

  23. AngelicMischief
    December 30, 2011 at 6:17 pm (6 years ago)

    Wow its good to know that this is a world wide epidemic and not just something that happens with me and my friends. A good friend of mine seems to attract many guys like this. My favourite was when she text him back saying along the lines of “I want a guy who acts like a guy, not a teenage girl .. so stop acting like a needy teenage girl or leave me the hell alone!”. From that moment on, that is what we have named the kind of guy that texts that way. It’s the “Needy teenage girl epidemic”
    AngelicMischief´s last blog post ..Water vs Electricity

  24. Joe K
    December 30, 2011 at 7:17 pm (6 years ago)

    Obviously a black guy. His real name is probably Malik. When will women ever learn NOT to date the blacks?

  25. Peggy
    December 31, 2011 at 1:28 am (6 years ago)

    Hey, awesome post! This reminds me of a guy I went on a date with ‘once’… We had a decent date, wasn’t stellar, he was cute and have gone on a second date anyway. However, post date – He was too forward with his intentions via email, text, calling… and I ignored him for days. He started calling me on my way to work, so one morning I picked up and told him to stop contacting me because I am not interested – I asked him ‘don’t you have to get to work and go on with your day?’ and he just kept on talking about a second date. But just like ‘Michael’… this guy was completely and utterly clueless yet persistent! I wish I saved the details so I could have broadcasted his stupidity to all women who need to be warned. hahah 😛

  26. Arthur
    January 30, 2012 at 2:10 pm (6 years ago)

    Jana, you have balls of steel!! haha
    And Michael, you don’t seems to have a life.

  27. isomorphismes
    February 11, 2012 at 5:12 am (6 years ago)

    No confidence. But then Jana gives him the “smile … can you chill” and he still doesn’t. That’s what’s weird.

  28. Danielle
    March 14, 2012 at 6:18 pm (6 years ago)

    I had one of these guys about six months ago. I suggested slowing things down a bit (i.e. hanging out 5 days a week vs. ALL the time given we had only been dating two months). What followed was 92 texts (YES….92) in ONE day. He yelled at me, pleaded with me, broke up with me, then pleaded with me throughout the whole day. I tried telling him to please stop texting me and we can discuss later that night. Well that just set him off even more with all the texts. Needless to say, we broke up that night and he continued to text me for a month afterwards. It finally stopped when I threatened a restraining order. What is wrong with people?

  29. Gianna
    September 26, 2012 at 5:06 pm (5 years ago)

    That was just the pick up I needed to end my work day and get me in the right mind set to begin my run. Thank you. I’m am afraid I am having a toned down version of this at the moment. But it involves voice mail AND text. I’m lucky.
    Gianna´s last blog post ..Newport Liberty Half Marathon: Recap


8Pingbacks & Trackbacks on Texting and Dating, or Texgate lol 2011

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