After November 6

For months, my life consisted of just two times: before November 6 and after November 6. In case you don’t know, November 6 was the ING NYC Marathon.  If something was planned for after, like a work conference I had on the 9th,  my only thought would be  “That is after November 6. By then I’ll be done with the marathon.”

Thinking of December was not even something I could fathom. It was all about November 6. I couldn’t imagine anything else. Then November 6 came and went and I still wasn’t a marathoner and then November 12 came and went and I was one.

It was all strange and surreal. It’s odd to base your life around this one event, this one day. Because what happens after?

In my case, lots of getting back to normal along with learning a new balance. Andy and I started dating in March and up until about September we spent more time apart than together. Things were new and we were getting to know each other, so I would see him once or twice during the week and one weekend day. The other days, I stuck to my usual workout schedule and my life was never disrupted.

The real disruption came with my new job — longer hours meant less time to take my favorite classes. But I still had enough time to make it all work.

When we eventually started spending a lot more time together, I was so deep into my marathon training that I needed to cut out strength anyway because my legs felt too sore. The extra free time (which likely would have been used for yoga or  spinning or other classes I could still have done) became extra time with him. I liked it. I liked being completely and totally lazy for the first time since I started the Core Fusion Challenge in January 2010. I didn’t even feel compelled to pick up a set of dumb bells. I liked doing nothing. Perhaps I lost my mojo. Or maybe I was just burned out. Or maybe I just felt like giving myself a break.

I liked doing nothing so much that I worried about what would happen after the marathon. I feared that my new life of leisure would mean that I never could get myself back to my beloved workout classes, and I would get weak and soft, lose my edge and overall become unhappy with myself. I worried I would never get back into a routine.

I’m getting there though. The marathon is over and after about a week I slowly started taking my classes again. I took Core Fusion Cardio, Refine Method and Music Yoga Flow (wow I needed that one). Getting back into a routine means I need to do something I didn’t have to do before — I need to balance time for working out with time for my boyfriend. Of course, time with my friends too, but that has never been an issue. My issue is that I like going over to Andy’s after work at 7 pm, plopping down on the couch, eating dinner and watching episode after episode of Beverly Hills, 90210.

Last night was my first attempt at achieving this balance. I had a Refine class scheduled for 7:35. I already don’t like working out that late, but it’s the only time I could make it after work. But I also wanted to see Andy because we spent Thanksgiving weekend apart. That meant I hurried home from the office, changed to workout clothes,  packed a bag of work clothes and went to class. From there, sweaty and smelly, I went directly to Andy’s.

It worked out fine. I could do this more (although I threw down money for a cab because waiting for the bus at 9 pm did not appeal to me . . . so it might get expensive) and it felt natural and normal. Instead of choosing what to do tonight (take my favorite Core Fusion Yoga or go to Andy’s?) I finally feel comfortable doing both.

It will continue to be an experiment, and it will continue to not be ideal. But it is a relief that this one day is behind me because now I feel like I can finally move forward with everything else. And even though that one day did not turn out as I planned, I’m extremely thrilled with how it did turn out.

I’m glad to be back in class even though right now it really, really sucks. Exercises that used to be relatively easy for me are now impossible. I can barely even do a pushup anymore. I used to love pushups! It hurts and it’s hard and I often either don’t want to or can’t push myself. Last night at Refine I switched my jumpbacks to step-backs. My quads were just on fire and I couldn’t do the jumps. Or could I? Was I just taking the easy way out? Am I frustrated that things that used to be easy now feel so hard? Or did I really do my best and my legs were truly too spent to do the jumps?

If I got out of work just an hour earlier, or worked closer to Manhattan, it would be easier. I could take earlier classes and have more time. But I don’t. So now that I am over three months into my new job, now that I am over eight months into my relationship with Andy, now that the previously unthinkable “after November 6” is over — now I can figure out how to organize my life in a way that includes everything I love and settle into a new routine. At least until I start training for my next half marathon.

14 comments on After November 6

  1. Amber
    November 29, 2011 at 11:28 am (6 years ago)

    Maybe I’m lucky in that I don’t have a very hard life, but balancing exercise with a relationship was one of the things I found most difficult when I met my now husband. I went from 6-7 exercise classes a week to maybe one, to cancelling my gym membership and gaining 15 pounds. After awhile I got sick of him (kidding) and found my way back but it was a weird transition for me as I never thought I’d be “that girl.” I have no doubt you will find a routine and balance that works for you. There will always be time for 90210.

    Also, I was so happy to see a post from you this morning! I wasn’t sure if you would post or not.

  2. Ali
    November 29, 2011 at 11:38 am (6 years ago)

    I love this post. You’ll get your strength back in those classes in no time. I’m glad you’re finding a good balance with work, friends, sweating and Andy now that the marathon is over. And I love that you love running! I was so excited to see that you did 8 miles just for the hell of it over the break. Runner Dori!
    Ali´s last blog post ..The Reason I’m Running The Las Vegas Half

  3. melissa
    November 29, 2011 at 1:28 pm (6 years ago)

    I am definitely out of shape. Last night was my first real workout since the marathon, Core Fusion Cardio–and it was awesome. But definitely have to build my strength back up.
    melissa´s last blog post ..Making Thanksgiving Dinner

  4. jobo
    November 29, 2011 at 1:38 pm (6 years ago)

    I struggled with balance with workouts, work and relationship when I met M. and it took awhile to adjust to, and then readjust to whenever I would change up workouts etc. So finding that balance is so great, glad you have found it. And yes, the CF strength you had will be back in no time!!
    jobo´s last blog post ..My blog, going forward.

  5. Katherine
    November 29, 2011 at 2:06 pm (6 years ago)

    I had working in my BF and my running when we first started dating — I’m a morning runner and he’s a late sleeper. I couldn’t get out of bed while we was there! But eventually I got over that and its been better for both our relationship and my exercise :-)

    Glad you’re getting back into the swing of things!
    Katherine´s last blog post ..Philly Half Marathon Race Recap

  6. Harry Andrews
    November 29, 2011 at 3:16 pm (6 years ago)

    This Andy sounds like a loser. Who watches 90210? Really!

  7. Irina G (Fit Flexitarian)
    November 30, 2011 at 6:33 pm (6 years ago)

    This is really interesting. I find that I tend to fall into that same rut of spending less time on “me” when I become closer to someone in a relationship. It’s actually why I ended up gaining a ton of weight back after college, because I spent many nights in with my then-boyfriend not eating well and not exercising. But it’s ALL a balance! I’m recently out of a relationship but I spent a lot of time not exercising while with him because he was constantly getting cheap tickets to Bway shows (he’s a teacher, so he got cheap TDF tickets and whatnot).

    Now I’m taking the time I didn’t take before to focus on myself. I already eat healthy, so now I am starting to exercise more. But even social plans can be a challenge because the month of December has so many Birthdays, Holiday parties, etc. I think for me it’s all about planning things ahead of time but also taking it one day at a time. I also don’t want to beat myself up if I miss a workout. Instead, I’m just going to go back to the schedule and see when else I can fit it in!
    Irina G (Fit Flexitarian)´s last blog post ..Fitness Journal, Week 10: Holiday Workout Strategies

  8. Kara
    November 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm (6 years ago)

    I felt the same way about the NYC marathon – every event or invitation depended on how it would affect Nov 6th. And now it’s finished and I feel like I have nothing to obsess over! I guess I just need to focus on healing my injury. I was actually thinking of trying the core fusion classes, they have a deal on Rue La La right now!

    Also- try not to beat yourself up because you don’t feel as strong in your classes. Use that feeling to motivate yourself and you will feel better in no time!
    Kara´s last blog post ..Running Nightmares

  9. Lele
    November 30, 2011 at 10:51 pm (6 years ago)

    It’s all about balance. I go to my boyfriend’s after a workout all the time. I think boys secretly like it when you’re kind of sweaty and gross… cause they are often kind of sweaty and gross!

    • Dori
      November 30, 2011 at 10:55 pm (6 years ago)

      It’s more the late hour that bothers me, not so much the sweatiness. By the time I get there, it’s after 9 and then I have to first shower, eat dinner, wake up early for work the next day. So not a lot of time to actually spend together and a lot of work. Still struggling a little because it does feel like a choice, but working on it!

  10. Amy
    December 1, 2011 at 12:28 am (6 years ago)

    I felt the same after my half marathon in July. I got a little sick of running to be honest. Straight after the half I had another race scheduled so that kept me going but after a holiday and just getting back to ‘the real world’ I have had to work to find new balance. Stick in there, you’ll find a way to make it work :)
    Amy´s last blog post ..I Have Been Changed For Good

  11. diana@mymarblerye
    December 2, 2011 at 7:34 pm (6 years ago)

    do you live far away from andy? I have no idea how you juggle all this in such a big city!
    diana@mymarblerye´s last blog post ..Meals at Home

  12. Annie @ calgary hcg
    December 10, 2011 at 5:52 pm (6 years ago)

    I agree with Amber, balancing my working out schedule with my personal life and work is def the most challenging things about keeping fit and hitting my fitness goals. The best way I found to do it is keep my schedule known with my loved ones..mainly my bf. So he knows what to expect on certain days in which I need my time to workout. Sounds silly but most people just have their own schedule and expect people just to work around their lives and they get sad when people don’t. Anyways, you look great! I love the marathon outfit, cuuuute:)
    Annie @ calgary hcg´s last blog post ..Comment on Order – November 18, 2011 @ 06:06 PM by JigoShop


1Pingbacks & Trackbacks on After November 6

  1. […] be good for me to try all of these different exercises; it’s always good to switch things up. Dori’s post on Dori’s Shiny Blog helped me realize that even though I’m not as strong as I was before, I can get back there. […]

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