Hi kids and friends.

Yes, I made a list of things to post about the other day, but today I am going to post about none of those things. That is because I am not motivated to create new content. I am riding this bad blogger streak out as long as I can. Although I will be posting my 10K race recap (race is Sunday!) because I tested out my playlist today and I think I am in love.

I told you all how I signed up for a Humor Writing class at the Gotham Writers Workshop back in September. I took a free one hour course through them in Memoir Writing and loved it. When it came time to sign up for class, however, I had a hard time deciding between Memoir and Humor writing classes. In the end I opted for Humor because I read the instructor’s book, absolutely loved it and hoped to make her my best friend. I also figured that the lessons I learn in Humor would carry over into the memoir sector.

This proved to be true, as the class is modeled on humorous memoirs, such as anything by David Sedaris.  While I do realize in retrospect that Memoir might have been a better option for me based on my needs and the fact that I am hideously awful at constructing clever similes (a key aspect in humor writing), this class has challenged me and forced me to be a better writer. I learned the rules of the funny, and while I don’t plan to write a humorous memoir, I do plan to pepper my more somber future memoir with humor to make it more appealing, relatable, readable and overall better. Since my memoir would certainly be about my illness and possible upcoming surgery — a surgery that is very rare for a 26 year old in otherwise perfect health to get — it would certainly need some moments of funny in there.

I do plan to take the Memoir class at Gotham; just not next semester. After 8 weeks (out of 10) of 3 hour classes taking up my entire Wednesday night, I am ready for a break. I already use one night a week for a GI appointment, so it is hard for me to find time to see friends, work out, blog and relax. I’d like my time back for now, and maybe I’ll sign up for the Memoir class the next time around.

In my Humor class, I had to write two longer pieces that get critiqued by the class as well as shorter one page homework assignments. While I am not comfortable sharing my previous longer piece, I do hope to share my next one that is due next week! I will, however, share with you my most recent homework assignment. The assignment was different than most; usually our assignments are exercises in writing that remind me or writing like David Sedaris. This assignment, on the other hand, was to write a sales pitch for a product I invented. The more absurd the product, the better.

Because I have very few funny ideas of my own (at least none that can be leveraged for this particular course) I turned to my friends. I often turn to my friends for my homework, asking them for examples on funny sounding diseases or any type of simile. This time, my friend Dr. McGriddle (we love IHOP, I used to love Grey’s) came through and helped me with the idea and supporting elements. Thank you, Doctor.

For this particular homework, I volunteered to read it out loud to the class because (a) I was proud of it and (b) it meant I would not be called on to read my in class writing assignment, which tends to be beyond awful. When you read something out loud, the instructor critiques it on the spot. Some critiques I received was that the first paragraph is very strong, but the rest doesn’t fit with it; it is a one note joke and the tone got old very fast; I could have found a better flavor for one of my examples.

Please keep in mind this is very different from the writing I usually to do for this class, which tends to be humorous memoir type stories. Also, I struggle to make the most of the humor writing rules. Being funny is hard work. I have a hardcore newfound respect for these writers. Consider that next time you pick up Augusten Burroughs.

Behold, my writing class homework. My sales pitch.

Twinkie No-Crush

Misfortune can happen to anyone. Loved ones pass away, high school students drink and drive, Duane Reade sells out of the only brand of vaginal itch cream that really gets the job done. You can’t always control what happens to you. But now, there is one thing you can control: Twinkies.

You know how it is; you grab your Twinkies on your way out the door and shove them in your purse, back pocket or suitcase. After lunch, you pull your Twinkie out only to find that it is as smushed as the face of your neighbor’s whiny new pug.

A perfectly good Twinkie – a food with a shelf life of 30 years, a food that can survive a nuclear attack – ruined! Don’t you just hate when that happens?

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Have you ever taken a class for fun? What did you think of it? And, what do you think of my homework?

For some reason, the most popular search engine search term people are using to get to my blog lately is pancakes. How and why! The most popular used to be a neck on neck race between Chobani yogurt and my name, but somewhere along the way pancakes blew both out of the water. How funny!

Here is a treat for all you pancake searchers:

Mmmmmmm.

So today was my second and FINAL day of jury duty. I have to say, I absolutely loved it.

Things I loved about jury duty:

• Not getting my name called for Day #1’s case
• Getting dismissed at noon on Day #1 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to nap
• Not having to arrive until 10:00 am on Day #2
• Being able to get up at a normal time to run outside instead of insanely early dark time
• Not getting my name called for Day #2’s case (33 names were called!)
• Having more time to read The Omnivore’s Dilemma
• Getting dismissed at 11:45 am on Say #2 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to stop at Bloomingdale’s and get 40 Carrots frozen yogurt for the first and last time this summer (used to have it all the time last year), buy new shoes at a sale price, pick up my mail and some fall clothing, and pick up my Continental Airlines 5th Avenue Mile bib and chip
• Knowing I can’t be called for jury duty again in NY state for another 6 years (As my friend Melanie pointed out, I’ll be in my 30s – eek!)
• Drinking wine at 4:30 pm on a Thursday
• Having more time to blog and rest
• Getting 2 free days off work!

What can I say? I am proud to have completed my civic responsibility and served in the American justice system!

I am getting more and more nervous and excited about my upcoming Humor Writing class. Every now and then I feel a pang that I’m not taking the Memoir Writing class, because most of the stories I have to tell aren’t the funny kind, but then I think about how funny it will be to spend my Wednesdays in an environment of funny and to learn from Sara Barron, author of The Porn (you need to read her book to understand) and challenge myself. They also recommend devoting about 5 hours a week to the assignments which will take away from blogging time — but hopefully I can share my work as blog entries and kill two birds with one stone. I just hope I can think of funny things. And I can always take the 1 day intensive Memoir Class or take the 10 week next semester. Class starts Wednesday!

I am excited (but sad about not being able to go see Regina Spektor on Oct 14 at Radio City — please let me know if you can buy my tickets from me). I have been struggling lately because I know I need to make some major life changes but being that I don’t know exactly what I want — just that I want something different than what I am doing now — I think Humor Writing class is a great place to start. It is new. It is funny. It is sure to be the most fun way to spend 3 hours a week for 10 weeks. And some people tell me my blog is funny, although I don’t see it myself. So I’d like to cultivate that a little more!

Speaking of funny, I found my funny book! I mentioned in a previous post that I used to carry around a little notebook with an Oscar Wilde quote on the front. I tried to write down all the funny things people around me said. It didn’t last long, but maybe I will start it up again. I also thought of some very funny ideas while running this morning! However, I have no recollection at all as to what they were. Boo!

By the way, another great run this morning. 2.2 miles, very slow pace (just where my body should be right now) and I am excited to push myself on Saturday’s 1 mile race. The reason running used to be hard for me (other than the fact that I am new to it) is that I was always pushing myself to go faster than my body wants. Now I push myself to go slow and I have been enjoying myself much more. For Saturday’s race, I set a VERY ambitious goal for myself — 8:50 min — but who knows, maybe I’ll reach it. On my own runs I’ve been trying to slow to around 11 min/miles so that I can feel good for an extended period of time. But for a 1 miler? Who cares how I feel‽ I am giving it all I have. And yes, I just used an interrobang.

So back to my funny book. On the front there is an Oscar Wilde quote that I love:

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.

Love it. Except for the fact that I can’t remember most things, which is why I got it in the first place. My biggest regret in my life thus far is that I didn’t keep a journal, especially when I was working on a teen tour. When I have kids I am going to strongly encourage them to keep a journal. Memories are so important.

Here’s one example from the book. I used to work in the English Department at Baruch College while I was pursuing my masters degree there in Corporate Communication. I had a little crush on one of the professors, and this was our encounter one day (FYI his codename was Sasha)

Sasha: Where are the cookies?
Me: I ate them.
Sasha: ALL of them?!

And yes, I had eaten all of them. I will never forget the look of shock on Sasha’s face — although I would have forgotten if I didn’t write this down. It was embarrassing yet funny. And it portrays my love of cookies.

There is more in here (not much more) that is pretty funny, although most of them are “you had to be there” types. What I never wrote down but reallyyyyy wish I had was all the encounters and stories I have about someone very stupid who I know well. I was trying to search old google chat conversations with people to see if I vented on there about this person, but so far I have not found success. Damn AIM and other programs that do not forever save my conversations in easily searchable format for eternity! It is google chat ONLY from now on.

I also brought back a book I had sitting in my apartment called Comedy Writing Secrets and one called Jewish Humor: What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews, along with two David Sedaris books I have not yet read (but I LOVED the ones I did read). For research. And my friend Phoebe lent me her copy of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the tip – Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (based on this website).

So much to read and no time to read it! If only I had more jury duty . . .

Read the first part of my US Open recap here.

Since the rest of my recap is moot now that the Open is over and Federer lost, I will quickly show you some pictures I took:

Ahh. Nice. I will spare you the photos of Federer sitting in his chair on the side of the court.

I am excited to go back next year on a weekend and have more time to walk around and see side matches and maybe not freeze like I did this year, and maybe get to stay for the entire thing and not have to leave early since the game goes on past midnight.

Some randomness going on in my life these days:

I took a free memoir writing class at Gotham Writers’ Workshop last night and basically fell in love. I learned some great things in just that one hour and, as they hoped when offering these free classes, I now am obsessed with the idea of taking a full workshop. Sara Barron, who wrote a hilarious book that I love called People are Unappealing, teaches the comedy writing workshop. The only thing that is stopping me from signing up right now is money. It’s not even expensive at all for what it is, they offer fantastic prices there. But, it is still more than I can swing right now. There is a one day full-day course of the same topic I could take, but I have to go to a wedding on that day. Maybe in the Spring I will take a workshop. For now, I am excited for anything free they offer — including the free Dialogue Writing class I am taking next week!

Expect to see more dialogue in this blog after that.

I am reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma and I am finally getting to the good stuff. It took me awhile to get past the history of corn but I hope to have a full review of this along with In Defense of Food for you within the next few weeks.

For the longest time I didn’t understand Twitter but now that I started to actually use it and understand it better, I LOVE IT. I think Twitter just might be my favorite of the social networking sites. I love how information is immediate and accessible and how you can feel like you are friends with celebrities or companies with it. I feel like Jill Zarin and the guy who played Kryten in Red Dwarf are speaking only to me when they tweet.

Confession: Although I strive to live a healthy lifestyle, I have one dirty little secret. That secret is bread pudding from the dessert bar at Whole Foods. HOLY YUM that stuff is amazing. Amazing to the point where every time I am at Whole Foods by the buffet I can’t NOT get a little bit. And the confession gets worse . . . I usually go to Whole Foods on my way into work in te morning. I usually have a tiny bit of bread pudding for breakfast multiple times a week. The best days are when it is extra mushy, like pure pieces of mush. Those are days it really melts in your mouth. Bread pudding is dessert french toast. I even complimented the dessert chef at the TriBeCa Whole Foods personally. Whole Foods is evil.

My old blog template did not support bulletpoints for some reason. They just wouldn’t work, even if I manually typed in the code. That resulted in some stupid looking blogs. I was excited to realize in this post that I do have use of bulletpoints, but I found out today I am unable to make spaces between each bullet. My point is, expect to see more bullets but not as many as I’d hoped, and not when I have paragraphs to bullet.

And finally, my running announcement. As you might know, I am very new to running. I wanted to do it and then couldn’t — I had knee pain, hip pain, felt overall awful when I tried. At one point I said “running is just not for me.” And then I tried again and ran for 25 minutes and felt pretty good. Ever since then I have been slowly and steadily improving, and over the last weeks I ran two 5K races (here and here). Well, as some of you predicted, I have officially caught the racing bug. All I want to do is run in more races, and I am already dreading the winter (treadmill, blech) and looking forward to the spring when I can know I will have months of outdoor running and races.But — race season is not over yet! And after some research I decided to register for two more races this year! On September 26, I will run in the Continental Airlines 5th Avenue Mile, a 1 mile timed race that begins on 80th and 5th and runs right alongside Central Park to 60th and 5th, just a few blocks from my apartment. I am excited to push myself hard in a short run to see how I do!

I wanted to challenge myself in a longer run as well, as I have never run more than about 3 and a half miles at a time. So the next race I signed up for is the Poland Spring Marathon Kickoff, a 5 mile timed race in Central Park on October 25 that ends at the same finish line as the NYC Marathon! I have never ran 5 miles before so this will be a real challenge. I created a training schedule loosely based off Hal Higdon’s 10K Novice training plan, which I am attempting to follow as best I can. It hasn’t been so spot on, but I am doing my best and as long as I get my long runs in I will be fine.

Have any of you ever tried something you never thought you’d do and ended up getting really into it?

I am so excited!

In last week’s BeamGreen post, I forgot to show you the pictures of Stogo ice cream with my Babycakes cookie!

Okay, all better.

Anyway, I had great plans for this weekend and none of them worked out. You would think that after being in constant pain for a year and a half and semi constant pain for 6 months, I would know what medicine to take to stop said pain.

I don’t.

My second GI doctor has given me a number of pain meds. None of them worked. And any doctor I saw following that one warned me to never take any of those meds anyway, as they will cause the underlying problem to become worse. That same doctor also gave me Vicodin, which the following doctors also warned would contribute to the problem getting worse. Although when the pain is bad enough and the others don’t work, that is the one I’d turn to.

So the problem is — if the pain meds I have don’t work and make the underlying problem worse, then what can I take when I am in pain?

I have trying to find out this answer for a very long time. Unfortunately, if such a medication exists for my pain, no doctor I have met with knows about it. I just called my newest doctor and left a message for her to call me back about this. This is because I have been in pain for days now.

Last week I was having a pretty great week, stomach-wise. Monday – Friday all was pretty good. On Saturday, I woke up lethargic and spent the entire day napping. At the height of my GI problems I was constantly lethargic, and now that I am better at handling my situation it has not been so bad. But on Saturday I was just out of it. I was also not able to eat much, which didn’t stop me from eating much at a barbecue at the boy’s family on Saturday. When the food is there . . .

So it is probably no surprise that I woke up on Sunday unable to move. The pain was sharp and the pain was pressure. It felt like little people are punching me all over. My plans to run didn’t happen. My plans to go to Missy’s sister’s wedding didn’t happen. I didn’t leave the apartment all day. I just laid around saying ow and reading books.

The books I read:
Everything Sucks: Losing My Mind and Finding Myself in a High School Quest for Cool by Hannah Friedman
Sickened: The True Story of a Lost Childhood by Julie Gregory
I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron

All the above books were great.

And I just started Born to Run:  A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seenby Christopher McDougall — anyone read this? I am so excited about it!

The boy read it and made a unique in response to what he read. He will be writing a guest post soon all about it.

As you can see, I was on a major memoir kick. And I still am. After I finish Born to Run I have two more memoirs I want to get to, including Dumbfounded: Big Money. Big Hair. Big Problems. Or Why Having It All Isn’t for Sissies by Matt Rothschild.

Anyway. I thought for sure I would be fine by Monday morning. So I laid out all my running gear, excited for the perfect weather that they were predicting. I calibrated my Nike + iPod last week and was excited to get a more accurate idea of how far my run is and how fast I run. I set my alarm for 6:00 and went to bed early.

When my alarm went off, all I felt was pain. Intense pain, worse than Sunday’s. It hurt so much. I tried to picture myself running and my vision included lots of pain and going slow and being upset. I knew getting out of bed was not an option. I went back to sleep and had a dream that I was running in a strange marathon that included stops all over and talking to lots of people and going to all these places inside other places. I woke up every now and then to groan in pain and wonder how I would go to work. I considered working from home.

At a little after 7:00, I finally forced myself out of bed. Once I started moving around, the pain wasn’t as bad, but I still keep feeling intense stabs. And it still feels like someone is punching me. Which sucks, because when I went outside the weather really was perfect.

I hope I will be better for tomorrow morning. I want to run in this weather, I want to not be in pain. I want my doctor to call back with some suggestion for what I can take.

What is hardest for me is the realization that just because I feel much better overall these days, I am NOT better. I’m going to feel pain and discomfort and lethargy and there is nothing I can do about it because as good as I might be feeling, the problem is still the problem and that didn’t change. What changed is that I know how to deal with the problem much better. The doctor who will be calling me back is also going to have some other information for me about next steps going forward, so hopefully I will learn something new today. And hopefully the pain will stop.

Let’s wish for a run tomorrow!

Click here for FitnessNYC’s Physique 57 DVD giveaway — but don’t click because I want to win this one.
Click here for Prior Fat Girl’s cookbook and apron giveaway.

After my last BeamGreen experience, I knew all month that I would be attending BeamGreen again last night. I joined BeamGreen officially yesterday– which included a payment — and then at the end of the event, Mary, the founder, announced that she accepted an amazing opportunity and last night was the final BeamGreen meeting. Mere hours after I paid! Of course, I am happy for Mary and whatever it is she is embarking upon. She deserves great things and I know she will achieve this.

And she was nice enough to respond to my email today and offer a full refund. How sweet!

I am sorry BeamGreen is ending because I really do enjoy it! Last night I was so happy to see Missy, Melissa, Gena and Sarah, and my best friend Rae!

Here I am (see the top curls) with Missy and Melissa.

After work, I got to the Upper West Side with plenty of time to kill. I got a much needed eyebrow threading and then wandered in and out of stores. I found myself at Intermix, a very expensive store that I don’t usually go into, although I got a pair of jeans on sale there for very cheap last year.

Needless to say, I walked straight to the sale rack. It was filled with jeans and I took a couple pairs to try one. And one. Was. Perfect.

Ever since my GI problems started, I’ve had problems with jeans. Even though they fit everywhere on my body, they never close around my stomach. And if they do, as soon as I eat a grape I am forced to open them. I am always uncomfortable in jeans and I look at other people wearing jeans — larger people than I — and wonder “how can they wear them?? And feel comfortable and not feel like suffocating?” I just can’t wrap my head around it.

All my old, small sized jeans are too small. The newer, larger jeans also tug my stomach. And then, yesterday at Intermix, I found the perfect jean. According to the tag, they cost $218. After being marked down numerous times, the final price on the tag read $69. Click here to see many views and more details on the jeans. So why are the jeans perfect? Well, I think the fact that their real price is $218 means they are made of silk or something. Seriously, they are clearly a very high quality, super soft denim. They are stretchy. They are comfortable. I can not only breathe in them, but I can sit in them too! I can move around and not feel like I am going to die. All my other jeans, even sizes bigger than what I am, squeeze into my stomach and sides and cause the dreaded muffin top. These do not do that. They just . . . rest. I look like one of the people I envy — who can wear jeans without feeling bound and sausage-like. I love them!

Here is a photo of them. It is not me. Unfortunately.

Although my feet are much smaller and cuter than hers.

OK, so back to BeamGreen. Thank you for allowing me that detour. I was still too early when I arrived at Central Park so I decided to sit on a nearby bench and relax outside with my book. I was literally steps from Tavern on the Green, where the event is held. And about 5 or 6 pedicab drivers tried to interrupt my relaxation to see if I needed a taxi ride somewhere. I pointed at Tavern on the Green and said “I’m going right there so I think I’ll be OK.”

If I wanted a ride, I would have told them! I wouldn’t have sat on a bench with a book. Poor guys, I know it is hard for them to make money, but still!

I waited around and then saw Missy walking in, so I ran up to her. I didn’t want to be insanely early alone, but I had no problem being insanely early with a friend! We signed in and got our raffle tickets and were among the very first people in the room. Which meant we got to get our fresh pressed bottled Liqueteria juices with no line! (Cold pressed juices retain more nutrients because standard juicers like the one I own use some heating to make the juice, which destroys enzymes). I got the Grasshopper juice, which consists of apple, pear, pineapple, wheatgrass & mint. It tastes just as delicious and refreshing as it sounds. It was a nice change for me since I drink straight vegetable juice every day, with the occasional half apple or pear. This was a treat! So much of a treat, that I may have gone back for seconds. And thirds. Although for accountability’s sake I will admit that the third was not a Grasshopper but a Royal Flush, consisting of pineapple, pear, ginger, aloe vera & Liver Kidney Lymph Detox. It was also refreshing and delicious, tasking strongly of ginger which I don’t like in my food but am fine with in my drinks in small amounts.

I also want to add that the reason I don’t get All Greens from Liqueteria, which is the best one for you, is because it contains romaine which I just can’t stand in my juice! But many people love it.

I do want to make a trip to Liqueteria at some point and pick up some bottled juices. Mmmmm.

Here I am at Tavern on the Green before everyone got to the room:

For my meal I had some avocado and cucumber rolls from Whole Foods (SO good) and I even tried a very small amount of raw pasta and raw lasagna from a new raw delivery company called Three Wishes. I only had a small amount because my stomach doesn’t do well with vegetables, particularly those of the uncooked variety. All was delicious.

At each chair was the BeamGreen Summer Newsletter, full of interesting articles written by Gena and some other people, including one I really enjoyed about cold pressed juices. We also received a book, Kabbalah on Green (details below), a pamphlet on Vegetarian Options for School Lunch Programs and one called Diet and Diabetes: Recipes for Success.

Here I am with some other bloggers, Missy, Sarah, Vani, Olga and Diana.

After an introduction from Mary, the first speaker was Gene Stone, ghostwriter of Engine 2 Diet and founder of Stogo. Stogo Ice Cream uses premium organic, dairy-free ingredients with no refined sugars, no animal products, no artificial flavors, and no preservatives. The ice cream is either soy-based, hemp-based, or coconut-based and sweetened with agave nectar. Brilliant.

The Engine 2 Diet was conceived after an entire firehouse in Texas went Vegan and all their cholesterol and other health problems resolved themselves. The author, Rip Esselstyn, was teased by his fellow firefighters for being vegan. But after his coworkers saw his health improve, they wanted in on it. And that is how the vegan firehouse began. This book is filled with recipes, anecdotes and useful information.

This is Gene. Gene is a pacer.

Back to the Stogo. Some fun facts about their ice cream: Guys love mint chocolate chip.  Not my guy, but guys as a whole. The most popular flavor is Salt & Caramel. Not a flavor I would select as I am not a fan of salt. I am excited to go there and try more flavors! I would not eat the soy based flavors, which eliminates any chances of me having the Oatmeal Raisin Cookie flavor, but I would gladly eat Hemp Cinnamon, Hemp Maple Walnut and Coconut Pina Colada!

Speaking of the ice cream. We then got to taste it..

Stogo vanilla coconut ice cream. One word can describe it and that word my friends is DELICIOUS. They had both chocolate coconut and vanilla coconut and most people got a scoop of each. For some reason I don’t quite understand, I love chocolate but won’t touch chocolate ice cream. It doesn’t appeal to me at all and I always choose no ice cream over chocolate. I wish I could explain why, and I wish I had this problem with cookies and brownies and cake.

So I got 2 scoops of vanilla and to make it extra special I broke up a chocolate chip vegan cookie from Babycakes and OMG THIS WAS THE PERFECT DESSERT — and guilt free! The Babycakes cookie looked and tasted like a homemade chocolate chip cookie, just the way I like it. It was heaven mixed in the ice cream; the perfect combination. Satisfied my sweet tooth and I didn’t feel any guilt since it was all made from good stuff!

And then we had the raffle! Once again, I hoped to win a consultation with Gena. Didn’t happen. Or a book. Didn’t happen. But I did win something — and thankfully it was not a coconut cleaver because what the hell would I do with that! I won an awesome tomato knife from Williams & Sonoma that really could be used as a salad knife, or, in my case, a green juice knife! The boy doesn’t exactly have many sharp knives, nor many that are longer than 3 inches, so cutting my kale, celery and cucumber hasn’t always been the easiest task. And now it is! I used the knife this morning and I am very happy with it. Last week at the farmers market I bought a perfect, ripe, bright red juicy tomato. When I cut it to make my pizza it was very hard to do. I will revisit the farmers market on Saturday, get another tomato, and test out my knife in its true element.

Also, I have been going on and on to the boy all week about how we need to get sharp knives! How funny.

When they called my raffle number, I suddenly got so nervous because I don’t like when everyone’s attention is on me. I sqeaked out “me” to indicate I had the winning ticket but it was barely audible. After the knife was handed to me and I was back in reality, I realized how hard my heart was pounding. Why should a silly raffle at a friendly event evoke such anxiety in me?

Anyway, Melissa won a copy of The China Study, which I want to read when i finish the 4 new memoirs I just bought and another book the boy recently read that I want to read. I was hoping to get a picture of Melissa and I with our winnings, but she had to leave early.

Here I am with my prize:

I need to change the resolution on my camera to take higher quality pictures. I keep forgetting.  Please hold.

OK done. That was too easy.

Off topic: Here is a photo of the pizza I just mentioned. It is a Rudi’s Organic Spelt wrap topped with fresh farmers market tomato (in place of sauce), fresh mozzarella, steamed shitake mushrooms, steamed farmers market electric purple eggplant and steamed zucchini. I am trying to eat small amounts of vegetables more often to try and train my, ahem, parts, to not attack me when they get a dose of healthy.

They raffled off a free nutrition consultation with Gena, which unfortunately I did not win since I won the knife.

The next speaker was Gil Jacobs, founder of Axis, a place I am very . . . familiar with. Gil is an incredibly dynamic speaker and the entire room was enthralled listening to him. He spoke about why people get cancer, the mistakes doctors make in treating it, and how to approach cancer and other illnesses in a healthier way. He also touched on diabetes and cholesterol. It was fascinating to hear him explain why tumors form and why people with cancer lose weight, in addition to how oncologists  fail in trying to prevent the weight loss.

There is a lot of cancer in my family.

I know this is a sensitive and controversial topic (as Gil’s explanation on why tumors develop is not exactly the same as typical medical doctors’ views) and I don’t want to offend anyone by writing more details here, so please contact me if you want me to try and explain to you what I learned. I did take notes, so I won’t be completely lost! I also don’t want to make an error in wording here and skew Gil’s powerful words.

Gil did make some points I do want to repeat on here:

“What heals the body is ceasing import of matter that creates waste and cloggage”– ie, don’t eat crap. Treat your body well and eat real, whole foods, largely from plants. Don’t smoke, drink, etc. If you want to heal, eat as cleanly as you can. For anyone other than me, this should not be out of reach — veggies, fruits, nuts, sprouted grains, etc. For me, with my digestive illness, it is not as easy, but I am trying to get there.

“Specific nutrients won’t heal you” — Gil’s example was about wheatgrass, which I have been writing about lately. Wheatgrass itself, with all its amazing nutrients and vitamins, won’t heal you on its own. You can’t have a hamburger and a wheatgrass shot and think you are treating your body well. It is the entire healthy lifestyle that those who drink wheatgrass tend to have that heals them. It isn’t Vitamin X in this carrot or Vitamin Y in that broccoli, it is the healthy lifestyle as a whole.

Which reminds me I need to drink more types of vegetables in my juices! I want to take in as many nutrients as I can.

“Cleanse is a verb and not a noun” — yes, I did the Blueprint Cleanse (which Gil referred to as Footprint, resulting in lots of laughter from the room) but I didn’t do it to cleanse, I did it to try and give my struggling digestive system a break and take in more nutrients than I had in the prior 2 years where the doctors told me to avoid fruits and vegetables. I did because I wanted to do something amazing for my body.

That said, Gil explained that when people say “I’m doing a cleanse”, they’re not. Drinking juice and eating salad for 2 weeks will not undo years and years of waste accumulation, especially if you are going back to your old lifestyle once you “finish” the cleanse. Cleansing is a process that never ends, a process of treating your body in the best way you possible can, and enjoying it. It is not a cleanse if you are counting the days until it is over. Food for thought.

And speaking of BPC, someone I know couldn’t finish hers and was generous enough to offer me an entire day’s worth of cold pressed juice! More nutrients for me!

Photo break! Here I am with Gena and Diana. They write great blogs and as you might remember, I credit all the good health in my life and improvement in my GI condition to Gena.

The final speaker, David Phillips, was there to discuss Kabbalah’s take on being green. We all received a book called Kabbalah on Green. I learned a little about Kabbalah when I was in Israel two years ago. Unfortunately, this speaker talked in circles and I couldn’t guage the exact point he was trying to make. Something about ego and personal garbage being the cause of something bad. He kept referring to the time when Al Gore conceded the election and how powerful Gore’s speech felt to him at the time, which was all well and good until I found out he was 13 when that happened. I am being cynical and of course he could have been as touched by it at the time as he says. . . but I have a hard time buying it.

I am going to read the book as I am curious about Kabbalah’s take on green, which I didn’t quite learn from David.

And then, at the end, Mary made her announcement of ending BeamGreen. It is too bad because Missy and Rae both enjoyed it and I will miss these meetings; the food, the company and the wealth of information!

Read Sarah’s recap here
Read Dianas recap here
Read Missy’s recap here

(Note: I apologize for any typographical errors. My spell check is not working today, it keeps shutting itself off)