I love my running music, as evidenced by my Running Songs section on the blog and my detailed race recaps by song. As much as I love my music, I have one little problem – finding NEW music for when I need a change. I don’t listen to the radio and I don’t usually know all the songs everyone discusses on the Twitters. I also don’t go out to bars as much as a single (yes) lady probably should to hear new music. But when you have to wake up early to run 7 miles, the idea of getting drunk and making poor decisions loses its appeal.

So I was excited when Adam from Turn Up My Workout contacted me and asked if I’d like to try out his service. Um, YES.

Turn Up My Workout is simple. You subscribe to the service and then you can select what type of music you like: Hip Hop, Country, Pop or a mix. Then you select your intensity level from Low, Medium or High. And then you get a list of workout songs that will motivate you and that you’ll enjoy! Easy as that.

Adam started this service after losing a lot of weight (over 100 pounds!). What was his most constant motivator to exercise? Amazing workout music. The music pushed and inspired Adam and he hopes a great playlist will do the same for you. As a former DJ and music director, and self proclaimed “freak when it comes to discovering new music,” it makes sense to trust Adam with your workout songs!

For my playlist from Turn Up My Workout, I selected pop music at a high intensity.

I got an email with a list of music. I had a few of the songs already, and some of them I already knew I didn’t like, and I downloaded the rest from iTunes. The list had so many songs that it’s OK if you don’t want to get them all. There is enough on there to pick and choose. The songs are divided into categories; Warm Up, Workout and Turn it Up (for an extra boost.)

I used the playlist thrice. I didn’t finish it during the first run, so the second run was like a whole new playlist. And the third time was just fun. My verdict? I loved it. First of all, it was so refreshing to hear a different set of songs. Second, the songs were fun and fast, just like I wanted! I felt like dancing during my run, and it was great to get to know new music. I’ll be able to listen over and over until I know all the words and can have even more fun with it (the way I am with my current playlists). And then, if I get bored it, I can just get my next month’s playlist from Turn Up My Workout.

Even better, I can pick my favorite songs and incorporate them into new playlists with my old favorites that I’ve been using forever, to make the ULTIMATE PLAYLIST. Turn Up My Workout is really a fantastic way to find new workout music that you might not otherwise find on your own. Some of the songs I’d heard before and really liked, but could never download them because I didn’t know their names. This is a great service for situations like those, too.

I’m not going to show you my playlist because, well, that would defeat the purpose of you trying it out for yourself! But I will say this: thanks to Turn Up My Workout, I found my new favorite running song. Favorite to the point that during my long run on Sunday, I had it on my playlist three different times!

What song, you wonder?

“Whatever You Like” by T.I.

OMG I LOVE THIS SONG. Okay, so something you all need to know about me. I like to listen to really explicit, vulgar songs when I am running. I like to learn all the words to said dirty songs and sing them in my head (or even out loud if no one is around). Vulgar lyrics make me happy.

So when I was looking through Adam’s list on iTunes, I was really happy to see that “EXPLICIT” box next to some of the songs. I had never heard Whatever You Like before (I told you I don’t know new music!) and I can’t get over how in love I am. It really pumps me up to go on a run – especially now knowing I’ve got it 3 times on my playlist. I am even more excited for my half marathon now that I have this song because I plan to include it at least 3 or 4 times throughout the race. What a GREAT song.

That said – does anyone have any suggestions for me for really vulgar, dirty, explicit running music?

It *DOES* need to have a good beat, it can’t just be shouting gross words. This is part of the reason I love Girl Talk by the way – download Girl Talk if you haven’t yet. So please tell me your vulgar workout music — I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Anyway, back to the review. So a subscription costs $7.97 a month and the first month is free. Very worth it for those of you like me who are stupid when it comes to new music. Some questions you might have for me:

Would you subscribe to Turn Up My Workout?

Yes.

Are you going to subscribe to Turn Up My Workout?

No.

Why not? You just said you would, so why aren’t you?

My health insurance premium was  just raised to $700 a month. I have placed myself on a $447 billion spending freeze.

But if you have  the extra $7.97 a month (as I did prior to my massive premium hike) then I’d say it is definitely a great deal. Also. You might be like me and take your favorite song on the playlist and type it in to iTunes or Grooveshark and find out there are OTHER VERSIONS of it.

Um ok so first of all, please listen to the Weird Al version of Whatever You Like. I don’t usually like him much but this version is HILARIOUS. Really, really hilarious. Every line makes me smile or laugh out loud. And then listen to the “Raw session” by Rome. AWESOME for those of you like me who listen to music such as the Counting Crows. A really cool version. Love them both. Still laughing at Weird Al. And still LOVING the original. You can listen to them all for free on Grooveshark or buy them on iTunes.

Adam and I had a lot of fun this afternoon on the Twitters with our new discoveries.

*Baby I can give you everything you please, even share my government cheese and you can have as much as you like.*

OK so get to it, kids. Check out Turn Up My Workout and comment with your suggestions for vulgar, explicit workout music!

Hi kids and friends.

Yes, I made a list of things to post about the other day, but today I am going to post about none of those things. That is because I am not motivated to create new content. I am riding this bad blogger streak out as long as I can. Although I will be posting my 10K race recap (race is Sunday!) because I tested out my playlist today and I think I am in love.

I told you all how I signed up for a Humor Writing class at the Gotham Writers Workshop back in September. I took a free one hour course through them in Memoir Writing and loved it. When it came time to sign up for class, however, I had a hard time deciding between Memoir and Humor writing classes. In the end I opted for Humor because I read the instructor’s book, absolutely loved it and hoped to make her my best friend. I also figured that the lessons I learn in Humor would carry over into the memoir sector.

This proved to be true, as the class is modeled on humorous memoirs, such as anything by David Sedaris.  While I do realize in retrospect that Memoir might have been a better option for me based on my needs and the fact that I am hideously awful at constructing clever similes (a key aspect in humor writing), this class has challenged me and forced me to be a better writer. I learned the rules of the funny, and while I don’t plan to write a humorous memoir, I do plan to pepper my more somber future memoir with humor to make it more appealing, relatable, readable and overall better. Since my memoir would certainly be about my illness and possible upcoming surgery — a surgery that is very rare for a 26 year old in otherwise perfect health to get — it would certainly need some moments of funny in there.

I do plan to take the Memoir class at Gotham; just not next semester. After 8 weeks (out of 10) of 3 hour classes taking up my entire Wednesday night, I am ready for a break. I already use one night a week for a GI appointment, so it is hard for me to find time to see friends, work out, blog and relax. I’d like my time back for now, and maybe I’ll sign up for the Memoir class the next time around.

In my Humor class, I had to write two longer pieces that get critiqued by the class as well as shorter one page homework assignments. While I am not comfortable sharing my previous longer piece, I do hope to share my next one that is due next week! I will, however, share with you my most recent homework assignment. The assignment was different than most; usually our assignments are exercises in writing that remind me or writing like David Sedaris. This assignment, on the other hand, was to write a sales pitch for a product I invented. The more absurd the product, the better.

Because I have very few funny ideas of my own (at least none that can be leveraged for this particular course) I turned to my friends. I often turn to my friends for my homework, asking them for examples on funny sounding diseases or any type of simile. This time, my friend Dr. McGriddle (we love IHOP, I used to love Grey’s) came through and helped me with the idea and supporting elements. Thank you, Doctor.

For this particular homework, I volunteered to read it out loud to the class because (a) I was proud of it and (b) it meant I would not be called on to read my in class writing assignment, which tends to be beyond awful. When you read something out loud, the instructor critiques it on the spot. Some critiques I received was that the first paragraph is very strong, but the rest doesn’t fit with it; it is a one note joke and the tone got old very fast; I could have found a better flavor for one of my examples.

Please keep in mind this is very different from the writing I usually to do for this class, which tends to be humorous memoir type stories. Also, I struggle to make the most of the humor writing rules. Being funny is hard work. I have a hardcore newfound respect for these writers. Consider that next time you pick up Augusten Burroughs.

Behold, my writing class homework. My sales pitch.

Twinkie No-Crush

Misfortune can happen to anyone. Loved ones pass away, high school students drink and drive, Duane Reade sells out of the only brand of vaginal itch cream that really gets the job done. You can’t always control what happens to you. But now, there is one thing you can control: Twinkies.

You know how it is; you grab your Twinkies on your way out the door and shove them in your purse, back pocket or suitcase. After lunch, you pull your Twinkie out only to find that it is as smushed as the face of your neighbor’s whiny new pug.

A perfectly good Twinkie – a food with a shelf life of 30 years, a food that can survive a nuclear attack – ruined! Don’t you just hate when that happens?

Luckily for you, I’ve got the solution to your very problem: The Twinkie No-Crush! The Twinkie No-Crush is a crushproof container made from grade A, organic, shatter proof glass and fits perfectly around a Twinkie of any flavor – original, banana crème, even deep fried for special occasions.

The Twinkie No-Crush is easy to use and will keep your Twinkie safe. Once you securely close your Twinkie in the Twinkie No-Crush airtight glass container, a microscopic deadbolt snaps into place, activating a state of the art motion stabilizer that prevents your Twinkie from deflection and deviation. The built in refrigerative dehumidifier will protect your Twinkie from deadly toxins, mold and clothes moths.

And there’s more! The Twinkie No-Crush will extend the life of your Twinkie from 30 years to a whopping 120 years! Just think – you can save a Twinkie today and your great, great, great, GREAT grandchild can eat the very same Twinkie. How spectacular!

Order today and we’ll throw in the LoJack Security System for Stolen Twinkie Recovery, normally an $89.99 Twinkie No-Crush upgrade, absolutely free! This LoJack upgrade includes Police Tracking Computers in law enforcement vehicles, helicopters and fixed-wing aircraft for optimal tracking and recovery of stolen twinkies. You don’t want to miss out on this essential addition to your Twinkie No-Crush!

Don’t be fooled by imposters! Not only is the Twinkie No-Crush the only FDA approved Twinkie enclosure, it is also the only one made of glass. You don’t want one of those light yet ridiculous plastic containers – they’re bad for the environment. P.U.! Do something good for mother Earth; do something good for yourself; do something good for your Twinkies. For just 15 easy payments of $21.99, the Twinkie No-Crush can be yours. The price might seem steep to you now, but just consider the hundreds – even thousands – of dollars you’ll be saving on crushed, stolen or stale Twinkies. Don’t delay; order your Twinkie No-Crush today!

Have you ever taken a class for fun? What did you think of it? And, what do you think of my homework?

As promised, here are some photos of me on my Urban Rebounder:

Aside from being an easy, inexpensive, fun eksusis that you can do at home while watching TV, rebounding touts numerous health benefits. After Maggie got hers off Craigslist, I was motivtaed to do the same thing. Mine even came with 2 DVDs, but until I figure out how to set up the DVD player, I will be rebounding to all my TV shows  this season: House, Nip/Tuck, The Office, Community, 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Desperate Housewives, Modern Family, Law and Order: SVU. Click here to read about the benefits of rebounding!

Missy, Megan and Melissa all selected me as a winner of the Over The Top Award.

In order to accept this award, I need to answer the following questions with just one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? table
2. Your hair? blown
3. Your mother? pretty
4. Your father? curly
5. Your favorite food? breakfast
6. Your dream last night? ring
7. Your favorite drink? almond
8. Your dream/goal? writer
9. What room are you in? living
10. Your hobby? reading
11. Your fear? jobless
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? there
13. Where were you last night? wedding
14. Something you aren’t? Asian
15. Muffins?  banana
16. Wish list item? chair
17. Where did you grow up? Queens
18. Last thing you did? type
19. What are you wearing? turtles
20. Your TV? floor
21. Your pets? Santana?
22. Your friends? ugly
23. Your life? ridiculous
24. Your mood? sleepy
25. Missing someone? Henries
26. Vehicle? Manhattan
27. Something you’re not wearing? underwear
28. Your favorite store? health
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? tomorrow
32. Your best friend? Rae
33. One place that I go over and over? bathroom
34. One person who emails me regularly? Jen
35. Favorite place to eat? IHOP

I pass this award on to the following bloggers:

Jen from PriorFatGirl
Janna from Just Flourishing
Santana from The Santana Chronicles

You ladies are all OVER THE TOP.

I was also awarded another award from Melissa with a different set of requirements. I will do that one another time!

And now, an XKCD.com webcomic:

For some reason, the most popular search engine search term people are using to get to my blog lately is pancakes. How and why! The most popular used to be a neck on neck race between Chobani yogurt and my name, but somewhere along the way pancakes blew both out of the water. How funny!

Here is a treat for all you pancake searchers:

Mmmmmmm.

So today was my second and FINAL day of jury duty. I have to say, I absolutely loved it.

Things I loved about jury duty:

• Not getting my name called for Day #1’s case
• Getting dismissed at noon on Day #1 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to nap
• Not having to arrive until 10:00 am on Day #2
• Being able to get up at a normal time to run outside instead of insanely early dark time
• Not getting my name called for Day #2’s case (33 names were called!)
• Having more time to read The Omnivore’s Dilemma
• Getting dismissed at 11:45 am on Say #2 and having the rest of the gorgeous summery day free to stop at Bloomingdale’s and get 40 Carrots frozen yogurt for the first and last time this summer (used to have it all the time last year), buy new shoes at a sale price, pick up my mail and some fall clothing, and pick up my Continental Airlines 5th Avenue Mile bib and chip
• Knowing I can’t be called for jury duty again in NY state for another 6 years (As my friend Melanie pointed out, I’ll be in my 30s – eek!)
• Drinking wine at 4:30 pm on a Thursday
• Having more time to blog and rest
• Getting 2 free days off work!

What can I say? I am proud to have completed my civic responsibility and served in the American justice system!

I am getting more and more nervous and excited about my upcoming Humor Writing class. Every now and then I feel a pang that I’m not taking the Memoir Writing class, because most of the stories I have to tell aren’t the funny kind, but then I think about how funny it will be to spend my Wednesdays in an environment of funny and to learn from Sara Barron, author of The Porn (you need to read her book to understand) and challenge myself. They also recommend devoting about 5 hours a week to the assignments which will take away from blogging time — but hopefully I can share my work as blog entries and kill two birds with one stone. I just hope I can think of funny things. And I can always take the 1 day intensive Memoir Class or take the 10 week next semester. Class starts Wednesday!

I am excited (but sad about not being able to go see Regina Spektor on Oct 14 at Radio City — please let me know if you can buy my tickets from me). I have been struggling lately because I know I need to make some major life changes but being that I don’t know exactly what I want — just that I want something different than what I am doing now — I think Humor Writing class is a great place to start. It is new. It is funny. It is sure to be the most fun way to spend 3 hours a week for 10 weeks. And some people tell me my blog is funny, although I don’t see it myself. So I’d like to cultivate that a little more!

Speaking of funny, I found my funny book! I mentioned in a previous post that I used to carry around a little notebook with an Oscar Wilde quote on the front. I tried to write down all the funny things people around me said. It didn’t last long, but maybe I will start it up again. I also thought of some very funny ideas while running this morning! However, I have no recollection at all as to what they were. Boo!

By the way, another great run this morning. 2.2 miles, very slow pace (just where my body should be right now) and I am excited to push myself on Saturday’s 1 mile race. The reason running used to be hard for me (other than the fact that I am new to it) is that I was always pushing myself to go faster than my body wants. Now I push myself to go slow and I have been enjoying myself much more. For Saturday’s race, I set a VERY ambitious goal for myself — 8:50 min — but who knows, maybe I’ll reach it. On my own runs I’ve been trying to slow to around 11 min/miles so that I can feel good for an extended period of time. But for a 1 miler? Who cares how I feel‽ I am giving it all I have. And yes, I just used an interrobang.

So back to my funny book. On the front there is an Oscar Wilde quote that I love:

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.

Love it. Except for the fact that I can’t remember most things, which is why I got it in the first place. My biggest regret in my life thus far is that I didn’t keep a journal, especially when I was working on a teen tour. When I have kids I am going to strongly encourage them to keep a journal. Memories are so important.

Here’s one example from the book. I used to work in the English Department at Baruch College while I was pursuing my masters degree there in Corporate Communication. I had a little crush on one of the professors, and this was our encounter one day (FYI his codename was Sasha)

Sasha: Where are the cookies?
Me: I ate them.
Sasha: ALL of them?!

And yes, I had eaten all of them. I will never forget the look of shock on Sasha’s face — although I would have forgotten if I didn’t write this down. It was embarrassing yet funny. And it portrays my love of cookies.

There is more in here (not much more) that is pretty funny, although most of them are “you had to be there” types. What I never wrote down but reallyyyyy wish I had was all the encounters and stories I have about someone very stupid who I know well. I was trying to search old google chat conversations with people to see if I vented on there about this person, but so far I have not found success. Damn AIM and other programs that do not forever save my conversations in easily searchable format for eternity! It is google chat ONLY from now on.

I also brought back a book I had sitting in my apartment called Comedy Writing Secrets and one called Jewish Humor: What the Best Jewish Jokes Say About the Jews, along with two David Sedaris books I have not yet read (but I LOVED the ones I did read). For research. And my friend Phoebe lent me her copy of Waiter Rant: Thanks for the tip – Confessions of a Cynical Waiter (based on this website).

So much to read and no time to read it! If only I had more jury duty . . .

Wow. I have to say, I was nervous about my guest post at Carrots ‘N’ Cake, but I am so happy with how well received it was. The topic seemed to resonate with a lot of people and I hope that my experience will help others — and hopefully I snagged a few new readers in the process. If I did — welcome!

Earlier this week I took a free Memoir Writing class at Gotham Writers’ Workshop. It was wonderful. I learned so much in only an hour. Of course, the purpose of these free hour long sessions is to whet your appetite so you sign up for a full length workshop. Gotham offers 6-week, 10-week and 1-day intensive workshops, in addition to Online Courses and some other seminars here and there (including How to Blog!).

Their little plan worked and I wanted so much to take a workshop. I absolutely loved the Memoir Writing workshop, but I was also fascinated by the Humor Writing, which as I mentioned is taught by Sara Barron. Their prices aren’t bad at all; in fact, they are the same prices the courses were back in 1997! But even so, it was more money than I could hand off right now.

Sara Barron

So I gave up the dream. I told myself, “maybe in the Spring.” The one-day intensive Humor Writing conflicted with a wedding, but I was considering the one-day Memoir Writing.

And then the Gotham Fairy came to bestow my wish upon me. By Gotham Fairy, I mean the boy. And I am fairly certain the boy does not want to be called a fairy, so let’s just leave that phrase there and never speak it again. But I digress!

The boy saw how much I wanted to take the class and knew that there was a $50 savings if I signed up by today — and he offered to buy it for me as a reward for all my running! I’m not exactly clear why running warrants a reward, but I wish I knew this sooner. I would have started running a year ago and reaped many rewards.

I told the boy repeatedly that he didn’t have to do this, that the class will still be here in the spring, etc. But he insisted. I pushed back. He wrote me a check. I enrolled in the class.

He is the best boyfriend. I really did want to take it now because the teachers shift and I can’t know for sure if Sara will be teaching in the spring. But I do know she is teaching now. But I still wasn’t 100% sure if I should take the Humor or the Memoir class. So I opened up the course syllabus for each online and sat here, just an hour before the discount deadline, going back and forth comparing the two. The truth is I want to take both. Whichever one I didn’t take now I will surely take in a one-day intensive format or in the spring. But which one which one which one? The Memoir class did have a lot of topics that I really want to learn. The Memoir class would also be *easier* in a sense — I can write what I know, and while it would be a challenge, the facts are all there. The Humor class had it’s interesting class topics as well, also things I want to learn, but would be a much greater challenge because, really, what if I can’t think of anything funny? How could I be funny on demand?

After lots of back and forth, it was one section of the Humor Writing syllabus that sealed the deal for me:

People – Finding the stupidity in people. Round and flat characters. Showing vs. Telling. Methods for showing characters. Ridiculing groups of people

YES. Oh, yes. I already write about stupidity, but now I can learn to do it MORE and make it BETTER!

And I wanted to take Sara’s class (her book) and I think that while the Memoir class might help me more in the long run, the Humor class would be more beneficial to me right now with my blogging — I can practice on here! Also, I have been trying to figure out how to become Sara Barron’s best friend and stalking her on Facebook and learning where she might be sometimes but not actually going there myself simply hasn’t been enough.

The class starts September 30 and is every Wednesday (except two holidays) through December. It will be cold. I will get home very late. But that isn’t stopping me. It will be a huge challenge, which makes me very nervous and very excited. I feel like my writing has become stagnant. I write on this blog, I write for my job. I write write write. While I certainly can write, I haven’t felt myself improving or producing anything spectacular lately. I know I can do better, but now I need guidance and a big push in the tush. And I need to be challenged to venture out of my comfort zone. I don’t like leaving my comfort zone — new places cause anxiety, new people scare me, new situations confound me. But if I am ever going to improve or write anything more than this blog and work communications, if I am ever going to improve on this blog and work communications, I need to be challenged. I know I can’t keep going on the way I have been going and expect great things to come to me.

And I want to write funnier blogs! Now that I am about to take this class, I really regret not writing down more funny/absurd/stupid/ridiculous things that I’ve encountered. Now I do, since I have a blog. But a few years ago? I remember that stupid things happened but I don’t remember specifics. Damn.

I used to keep a “funny book,” a little notebook with a quote about humor from Oscar Wilde on the front, but I didn’t keep up with it too well. I will need to ransack my apartment and find it because I am sure it will bring back some memories. And I want to see that quote again, I remember loving it. I think I will also go through old Google Chat saved conversations from as far back as I can and try to dredge up some funny memories.

By the way, remember when I was freaking out and trying find a way to fit in a workout before an appointment back in March? I went so far as to call it a workout dilemma?? Just because I didn’t want to miss a day of exercise once every other week? Silly old me. And I mean that. OLD me. These classes don’t start until 7 and I will surely have some free time, but I will use that time to read, write, window (or really) shop and eat dinner. No stressing about workouts these days.

Anyway, this ended up being much longer than I planned. The last thing I want to say today is that this weekend is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. The last two Rosh Hashanahs we celebrated the Year of the Henry. After a 2 year reign, I am pleased to announce that this new year brings with it the Year of the Puppy! Rejoice!

Shana tova and have a great weekend!