This post is kind of all over the place because I have so many unrelated topics to discuss. I will try to keep this as clean and organized as possible. Starting . . . now.

Unrelated topic #1:
I plan to review something for you all soon that I am very excited about!  It comes from the same place that sells some pretty cool LED lighting sets, which I hope to buy if I am ever able to move into my own apartment. However, the product I will review is more relevant to my healthy lifestyle. Hint: Rachel loves it and it is small and you put food in it.

Moving on.

Unrelated topic #2:
I was very lucky to have the chance to visit the Boston location of my favorite place in the world: exhale spa. I love visiting familiar things in unfamiliar places — everything is kind of the same, but also different. It is like seeing your 4th grade teacher at the mall.

I got excited just seeing the front door!

I got to take a class there! Core Fusion Cardio fit into my schedule and it was SO weird taking a class I know well in a place I don’t. Liz from @exhaleboston was so great and showed me around and got me all set up. My teacher Andrea was awesome! She was upbeat, motivating and so much fun. I definitely recommend everyone in Boston take her class. And it turns out Andrea recognized me from my Core Fusion Challenge, she just didn’t realize it was me until after and she commented on my blog later to tell me!

I was thinking about where I might one day want to live, and I realized I don’t know if I could move to a place that doesn’t have an exhale spa and Core Fusion classes. That is a little sick, right? Hopefully exhale continues expanding. Some places I would especially like to see them pop up are Seattle and London. Hint, hint, Fred.

Exhale Boston is on two floors there, which is really great for keeping the Core Fusion room separate from the spa and yoga areas. And so I got into the elevator.

Uhh . . . I just wanted to go up.

What does this mean??! Which is up and which is down?? I stared, confused, until someone in the elevator with me who had been there before pressed the right button.

It did give the meaning of each in small letters underneath, but I was in too much shock to register that.

Speaking of Core Fusion, I wanted to hold a little poll.

NYC readers: If you were able to try ONE free class at exhale, would you want to try Core Fusion or Core Fusion Cardio? Both are absolutely amazing and challenging and rewarding. Please comment below, tweet me or email and let me know.

I might have something up my sleeve. Except it is summer and my arms look awesome from Core Fusion, so I am not wearing sleeves.

Unrelated topic #3:

Cooler Cleanse giveaway winner!

Thank you thank you thank you to all of you who commented here and wrote on Cooler Cleanse’s Facebook wall . We took all your votes into consideration, weighing extra heavily those who entered by comment and wall post. It was a very tough decision but in the end we agreed there was one clear winner:

Congratulations Elizabeth KS!

Elizabeth KS said:

Where to start?! I have been really curious about the Cooler Cleanse for some time, after hearing about the company from several friends (and okay, I’ll admit it, reading about it in magazines as a celeb favorite!) I’ve been intrigued, dying for more info… and yes, hoping to try it very soon myself. I’m really excited to see such an in depth, honest and super-validating review! Thank you for all great info and detail – it’s really very helpful to know what I can expect (like, love and not love) before diving in and trying the cleanse. The Cooler Cleanse just sounds like a great option for all folks, both cleanse-veterans and like myself, cleanse-novices (aka it tastes good and is simple to follow – WITHOUT sacrificing the hard core health and nutrition benefits.) Many of the cleanses out there are either intimidating/downright inedible OR on the flip side they are easy to follow & swallow but they don’t provide this same level of cleanse effectiveness and/or nutritional awesomeness. I have personally had a very rough year with my husband losing his job and a host of other issues (sadly as we all know, tough times often lead to bad eating habits and poor health) but I am now looking toward the future and want to kickstart better days with good nutrition and a positive outlook. What better way to re-start my system, body, outlook and life than by Cooler-Cleanse-ing it out for three days!! I would be so sincerely grateful if I were to win this cleanse – I think it might be the (much-deserved) start of a whole new me! PS This late-breaking-news that very soon they will be extending the delivery zone outside of NYC is especially fantastic… we recently relocated to Boston and I can’t tell you excited I am to have a little piece of (healthy, innovative, awesome) New York available here! I was seriously considering making a pal from the old neighborhood drive me the cleanse 3 hours away

We hope you enjoy your cleanse, Elizabeth!

If you didn’t win and you live in NYC, get 10% off your Cooler Cleanse with the discount code ESSENTIALGREEN. This code is valid through July 19 for NYC local delivery only. Read my review of Cooler Cleanse here.

This is probably not the last you will see of Cooler Cleanse on this blog. I hope to give you more chances to try a cleanse because so many of you had such inspiring responses.

Announcement!

To better avoid stress with my busy schedule of laying in bed, I’ve decided to implement a blogging schedule. I do love this blog and all the amazing things that have come into my life from it — especially the friendships, and also, Girl Talk — but I have found it hard to post as often as I like. Part of the reason is I can’t write or post from work. I am very, very important. I also write for a couple other websites and I’ve been slacking on all three when I feel pressure to do them all at once. But don’t worry, I do all this work from my bed, so I never slack on laying in bed.

I decided to implement a blogging schedule — and a lenient one at that!

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TUESDAY BLAGS!

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I will post every Tuesday, without fail. Even if it is stupid. But it won’t be, because I’ll be writing it. Also, I have some cool posts coming up. Reviews and thoughts about things that are not reviews. And if I write the best post ever in life on a Wednesday, well, you’ll just have to wait until the following Tuesday to read it.

Oh — for those of you who ask my opinion on Core Fusion DVDs, check out Rachel’s comparison post. While I can seriously write a novel about all the live Core Fusion classes, I’ve only done the DVDs a few times and Rachel is a much better resource.

I’ve got the Healthy Kidney 10K on Saturday. I haven’t run in a couple of weeks, so it should be interesting. The rain destroyed my 6 mile Central Park loop plans last weekend but it was a blessing in disguise as I took the sweatiest, most intense Core Fusion class that was like nothing I have ever done before. No two classes are ever the same and this one was just . . . a sweaty, sticky, thick air experience.

Back next week, probably with a race recap that will include a playlist with my new FAVORITE MUSIC that I just learned about today!

Random, but I found a new way to waste my money and it is by spoiling my brother Matthew and his fiancee Mallory‘s pup Santana. Her Aunt Dori loves her and bought her these shirts:

You can follow Santana on Twitter.

See you all next week for more TUESDAY BLAGS!

P.S. Had a dream that my cute grandma was driving. She never got her license and never drove before. My brother and I were in the car with her and it was in our old neighborhood and was pretty much a disaster — very scary!

Hi from 5:41 am. I had to work Greenwich Mean Time (GMT) today, which is the time they use in London. They call it that because it is MEAN when someone in New York has to work on their 5 hour later schedule. That means I have been awake since 2:45 am, working since 3:00 am. I am tired.

Time Warner decided three days ago that I don’t need internet connection to be a whole person. True, but I do need internet connection to be an employed person. And that is why I am working from my very gracious friend’s apartment right now. The idea of walking through an empty mall to an empty escalator and into an empty office building scared me, although some told me my fear is irrational others confirmed that I am, in fact, rational.

I really want to write my 13.1 Marathon recap, but I am just too tired now to put any energy into it. I didn’t exactly go to sleep very early and I believe I earned myself a McGriddle. Or, you know, a healthier version. Like, a green juice.

Work is pretty stressful even when it’s not stressful at 5:48 am when all you want to do is sleep. The good news is that tomorrow I get to see my little brother! We are both flying to the Floridas from NY and the Seattles, respectively, to see our cute grandma. Our grandma is SO CUTE. Here’s a little transcript of our phone call the other day:

Grandma: What food should I buy for your lunches while you’re here? Turkey breast?

Me: No turkey, I’m a vegetarian actually.

Grandma: Oh, ok. Do you eat chicken? Let’s go to a chicken restaurant!

Too funny. I don’t even know what a chicken restaurant is. My grandma used to sign her AIM instant messages to me with “Love, Me” at the bottom of each IM. Yes, she had AIM and I don’t know how she figured out how to use it.

Even better is this email I received from her in August 2008:

Hi Dori

I  am trying to send a message.  HOPE YOU GET THIS  I CANNOT GET OUT OF THE CAPS.

DONOT KNOW WHY.  I JUST DECIDED TO TRY TO TRY YOU.

LOVE

YOUR NOT SO SMART GRANDMA.

Needless to say, I am looking forward to this Florida trip. I’m also looking forward to running in the morning in nice weather! Hopefully I can get my brother to go on a run with me. That is, if the f-ing weather cooperates.

I will be bringing my computer and I really hope to get my race recap posted within the next couple of days! But I will tell you all that I finished my second half marathon and I am so proud of myself for doing it.

And now that it is 6:38 am ET, more of you are awakening on the Twitters. Socialization!

I love my running music, as evidenced by my Running Songs section on the blog and my detailed race recaps by song. As much as I love my music, I have one little problem – finding NEW music for when I need a change. I don’t listen to the radio and I don’t usually know all the songs everyone discusses on the Twitters. I also don’t go out to bars as much as a single (yes) lady probably should to hear new music. But when you have to wake up early to run 7 miles, the idea of getting drunk and making poor decisions loses its appeal.

So I was excited when Adam from Turn Up My Workout contacted me and asked if I’d like to try out his service. Um, YES.

Turn Up My Workout is simple. You subscribe to the service and then you can select what type of music you like: Hip Hop, Country, Pop or a mix. Then you select your intensity level from Low, Medium or High. And then you get a list of workout songs that will motivate you and that you’ll enjoy! Easy as that.

Adam started this service after losing a lot of weight (over 100 pounds!). What was his most constant motivator to exercise? Amazing workout music. The music pushed and inspired Adam and he hopes a great playlist will do the same for you. As a former DJ and music director, and self proclaimed “freak when it comes to discovering new music,” it makes sense to trust Adam with your workout songs!

For my playlist from Turn Up My Workout, I selected pop music at a high intensity.

I got an email with a list of music. I had a few of the songs already, and some of them I already knew I didn’t like, and I downloaded the rest from iTunes. The list had so many songs that it’s OK if you don’t want to get them all. There is enough on there to pick and choose. The songs are divided into categories; Warm Up, Workout and Turn it Up (for an extra boost.)

I used the playlist thrice. I didn’t finish it during the first run, so the second run was like a whole new playlist. And the third time was just fun. My verdict? I loved it. First of all, it was so refreshing to hear a different set of songs. Second, the songs were fun and fast, just like I wanted! I felt like dancing during my run, and it was great to get to know new music. I’ll be able to listen over and over until I know all the words and can have even more fun with it (the way I am with my current playlists). And then, if I get bored it, I can just get my next month’s playlist from Turn Up My Workout.

Even better, I can pick my favorite songs and incorporate them into new playlists with my old favorites that I’ve been using forever, to make the ULTIMATE PLAYLIST. Turn Up My Workout is really a fantastic way to find new workout music that you might not otherwise find on your own. Some of the songs I’d heard before and really liked, but could never download them because I didn’t know their names. This is a great service for situations like those, too.

I’m not going to show you my playlist because, well, that would defeat the purpose of you trying it out for yourself! But I will say this: thanks to Turn Up My Workout, I found my new favorite running song. Favorite to the point that during my long run on Sunday, I had it on my playlist three different times!

What song, you wonder?

“Whatever You Like” by T.I.

OMG I LOVE THIS SONG. Okay, so something you all need to know about me. I like to listen to really explicit, vulgar songs when I am running. I like to learn all the words to said dirty songs and sing them in my head (or even out loud if no one is around). Vulgar lyrics make me happy.

So when I was looking through Adam’s list on iTunes, I was really happy to see that “EXPLICIT” box next to some of the songs. I had never heard Whatever You Like before (I told you I don’t know new music!) and I can’t get over how in love I am. It really pumps me up to go on a run – especially now knowing I’ve got it 3 times on my playlist. I am even more excited for my half marathon now that I have this song because I plan to include it at least 3 or 4 times throughout the race. What a GREAT song.

That said – does anyone have any suggestions for me for really vulgar, dirty, explicit running music?

It *DOES* need to have a good beat, it can’t just be shouting gross words. This is part of the reason I love Girl Talk by the way – download Girl Talk if you haven’t yet. So please tell me your vulgar workout music — I’d love to hear your suggestions!

Anyway, back to the review. So a subscription costs $7.97 a month and the first month is free. Very worth it for those of you like me who are stupid when it comes to new music. Some questions you might have for me:

Would you subscribe to Turn Up My Workout?

Yes.

Are you going to subscribe to Turn Up My Workout?

No.

Why not? You just said you would, so why aren’t you?

My health insurance premium was  just raised to $700 a month. I have placed myself on a $447 billion spending freeze.

But if you have  the extra $7.97 a month (as I did prior to my massive premium hike) then I’d say it is definitely a great deal. Also. You might be like me and take your favorite song on the playlist and type it in to iTunes or Grooveshark and find out there are OTHER VERSIONS of it.

Um ok so first of all, please listen to the Weird Al version of Whatever You Like. I don’t usually like him much but this version is HILARIOUS. Really, really hilarious. Every line makes me smile or laugh out loud. And then listen to the “Raw session” by Rome. AWESOME for those of you like me who listen to music such as the Counting Crows. A really cool version. Love them both. Still laughing at Weird Al. And still LOVING the original. You can listen to them all for free on Grooveshark or buy them on iTunes.

Adam and I had a lot of fun this afternoon on the Twitters with our new discoveries.

*Baby I can give you everything you please, even share my government cheese and you can have as much as you like.*

OK so get to it, kids. Check out Turn Up My Workout and comment with your suggestions for vulgar, explicit workout music!

Hi kids and friends.

Yes, I made a list of things to post about the other day, but today I am going to post about none of those things. That is because I am not motivated to create new content. I am riding this bad blogger streak out as long as I can. Although I will be posting my 10K race recap (race is Sunday!) because I tested out my playlist today and I think I am in love.

I told you all how I signed up for a Humor Writing class at the Gotham Writers Workshop back in September. I took a free one hour course through them in Memoir Writing and loved it. When it came time to sign up for class, however, I had a hard time deciding between Memoir and Humor writing classes. In the end I opted for Humor because I read the instructor’s book, absolutely loved it and hoped to make her my best friend. I also figured that the lessons I learn in Humor would carry over into the memoir sector.

This proved to be true, as the class is modeled on humorous memoirs, such as anything by David Sedaris.  While I do realize in retrospect that Memoir might have been a better option for me based on my needs and the fact that I am hideously awful at constructing clever similes (a key aspect in humor writing), this class has challenged me and forced me to be a better writer. I learned the rules of the funny, and while I don’t plan to write a humorous memoir, I do plan to pepper my more somber future memoir with humor to make it more appealing, relatable, readable and overall better. Since my memoir would certainly be about my illness and possible upcoming surgery — a surgery that is very rare for a 26 year old in otherwise perfect health to get — it would certainly need some moments of funny in there.

I do plan to take the Memoir class at Gotham; just not next semester. After 8 weeks (out of 10) of 3 hour classes taking up my entire Wednesday night, I am ready for a break. I already use one night a week for a GI appointment, so it is hard for me to find time to see friends, work out, blog and relax. I’d like my time back for now, and maybe I’ll sign up for the Memoir class the next time around.

In my Humor class, I had to write two longer pieces that get critiqued by the class as well as shorter one page homework assignments. While I am not comfortable sharing my previous longer piece, I do hope to share my next one that is due next week! I will, however, share with you my most recent homework assignment. The assignment was different than most; usually our assignments are exercises in writing that remind me or writing like David Sedaris. This assignment, on the other hand, was to write a sales pitch for a product I invented. The more absurd the product, the better.

Because I have very few funny ideas of my own (at least none that can be leveraged for this particular course) I turned to my friends. I often turn to my friends for my homework, asking them for examples on funny sounding diseases or any type of simile. This time, my friend Dr. McGriddle (we love IHOP, I used to love Grey’s) came through and helped me with the idea and supporting elements. Thank you, Doctor.

For this particular homework, I volunteered to read it out loud to the class because (a) I was proud of it and (b) it meant I would not be called on to read my in class writing assignment, which tends to be beyond awful. When you read something out loud, the instructor critiques it on the spot. Some critiques I received was that the first paragraph is very strong, but the rest doesn’t fit with it; it is a one note joke and the tone got old very fast; I could have found a better flavor for one of my examples.

Please keep in mind this is very different from the writing I usually to do for this class, which tends to be humorous memoir type stories. Also, I struggle to make the most of the humor writing rules. Being funny is hard work. I have a hardcore newfound respect for these writers. Consider that next time you pick up Augusten Burroughs.

Behold, my writing class homework. My sales pitch.

Twinkie No-Crush

Misfortune can happen to anyone. Loved ones pass away, high school students drink and drive, Duane Reade sells out of the only brand of vaginal itch cream that really gets the job done. You can’t always control what happens to you. But now, there is one thing you can control: Twinkies.

You know how it is; you grab your Twinkies on your way out the door and shove them in your purse, back pocket or suitcase. After lunch, you pull your Twinkie out only to find that it is as smushed as the face of your neighbor’s whiny new pug.

A perfectly good Twinkie – a food with a shelf life of 30 years, a food that can survive a nuclear attack – ruined! Don’t you just hate when that happens?

Luckily for you, I’ve got the solution to your very problem: The Twinkie No-Crush! The Twinkie No-Crush is a crushproof container made from grade A, organic, shatter proof glass and fits perfectly around a Twinkie of any flavor – original, banana crème, even deep fried for special occasions.

The Twinkie No-Crush is easy to use and will keep your Twinkie safe. Once you securely close your Twinkie in the Twinkie No-Crush airtight glass container, a microscopic deadbolt snaps into place, activating a state of the art motion stabilizer that prevents your Twinkie from deflection and deviation. The built in refrigerative dehumidifier will protect your Twinkie from deadly toxins, mold and clothes moths.

And there’s more! The Twinkie No-Crush will extend the life of your Twinkie from 30 years to a whopping 120 years! Just think – you can save a Twinkie today and your great, great, great, GREAT grandchild can eat the very same Twinkie. How spectacular!

Order today and we’ll throw in the LoJack Security System for Stolen Twinkie Recovery, normally an $89.99 Twinkie No-Crush upgrade, absolutely free! This LoJack upgrade includes Police Tracking Computers in law enforcement vehicles, helicopters and fixed-wing aircraft for optimal tracking and recovery of stolen twinkies. You don’t want to miss out on this essential addition to your Twinkie No-Crush!

Don’t be fooled by imposters! Not only is the Twinkie No-Crush the only FDA approved Twinkie enclosure, it is also the only one made of glass. You don’t want one of those light yet ridiculous plastic containers – they’re bad for the environment. P.U.! Do something good for mother Earth; do something good for yourself; do something good for your Twinkies. For just 15 easy payments of $21.99, the Twinkie No-Crush can be yours. The price might seem steep to you now, but just consider the hundreds – even thousands – of dollars you’ll be saving on crushed, stolen or stale Twinkies. Don’t delay; order your Twinkie No-Crush today!

Have you ever taken a class for fun? What did you think of it? And, what do you think of my homework?