Inside the mind of a neurotic runner who is still not sure, when she wakes up on race morning, if she plans to try and PR or not.

Getting ready

Since I PR’d in a 10K last month and I hope to do so next month, I might as well have some coffee this morning. I’ve had coffee before running but never before racing. Now’s a good a time as any to see how this goes.

Time to film my first webcam video for work, the “Before” of a “Before & After” for our new BB Cream. Have to do this well, I only have time to do it once. Hm, this pink running shirt won’t look good on camera, I’ll change to a blue one.

Damn. I forgot to point out my dark circles and dry skin. Oh well, I think the video came out pretty good.

I wish I didn’t put my watch on until after this video.

Oh! How do I get my iPod Nano off shuffle? Quick Google Bing (hi Matt).

Commute

Other 10K runners at the PATH station! It makes sense, since Jersey City is full of runners but for some reason I didn’t expect to see others here.

Playlist! I never made a playlist. How does this on-the-go playlist functionality work? Oh, this is easy. A little short, but good playlist.

Oh look, another runner sitting across from me on the second train. I like that.

Central Park before race

No lines on the Porta Potties!

It’s actually warm for 7:15 am. I can stand in this sunny patch of grass until the race starts.

Wow, this porta potty hasn’t been used yet today! The toilet paper is still wrapped in paper. This is SO COOL. Who else can say they were the first in a porta potty?

I can’t get this brand new toilet paper started! Why do I just keep ripping off small pieces. Where is the end??

I love when porta potties have anti-bacterial.

This corner behind the fence is a perfect place to store my fleece during the race. Maybe it will still be there after. Otherwise, I won’t miss it.

“Hello? Melissa, hi, I’m in the bathroom, I’ll be right out.”

Corral

I’m just going to run how I feel comfortable. I’ll decide then if I think I can PR.

I’m in a slightly slower corral than my own but I’m at the front of it, so once they collapse it will all be the same.

This weather is perfect! Sunny, beautiful, warm but not hot.

Mile 1

Time to see how my new Nike+ SportWatch GPS does during this race!

This is crowded.

I can’t move. I can barely walk, let alone run.

WHY are there walkers ahead of me? Were they checking bibs at the corrals?

Argh! If you’re going to just stop, MOVE OVER TO THE SIDE. I’ve had to stop during a race before. I went to the side. If you stop in the middle, I MIGHT RUN OVER YOU.

Omg. Too crowded. This is frustrating. NYRR really needs to cap these races lower. I thought this at the Scotland Run but this is much worse.

Melissa Z is running fast! I wonder if she will PR if we stay together the whole time.

I better follow Z along the outside of the pack, this is just way too crowded and I want to RUN.

Ah, break free. Floor it.

I’m right ahead of Z and oh look! A race photog! ARMS UP HELLOOOOOOOOO!!!

Where’s Z? Oops. Lost her.

Hmm 9:30 pace? OK, I am definitely not PRing today. That’s OK.

Where is Z? I can’t stop looking around for her.

Mile 1 over already! That was quick.

Mile 2

I can’t believe the crowds aren’t getting any better.

WALKER IN FRONT OF ME. Must get out of way now. Where is an opening between all these runners? Why is everyone running so slowly? I AM GOING TO SLAM INTO THIS PERSON I CANNOT SLOW DOWN IN TIME HELP.

Phew. Dodged that person. Why is no one moving over to the side? Why weren’t the corrals checked? The corrals are there for safety!

Running on the outskirts is good, at least I can move over here.

DAMN IT. There’s the water station all the way on the right and I missed it! When I PR’d at the Scotland Run, I stopped at every single water station and now I believe that is the key to race success and I MISSED THIS ONE. GRRRRR.

I forgot to discuss the water stops at the Scotland Run in my recap. I’ll have to mention it when I write this one.

I feel like I am pushing so hard but my pace seems slow for my effort. I guess today is just not my day. That’s OK.

Wow, this uphill is tough. Much tougher than when I ran the Scotland Run. Why does this feel so hard? Slooooow down.

Harlem Hills DOWNHILL time! THIS is where I love to run fast.

Wait, why aren’t the people around me speeding up? Are they . . . slowing DOWN? Why? This is a down hill!

Too much weaving for a down hill. Ugh. What is wrong with EVERYONE today?

Ah, there’s some relief. Yay for fast downhill running!

Mile 2 is over. Maybe the road will clear up now.

Mile 3

OK this is hard.

Keeping a 9:30 pace feels impossible. Maybe I shouldn’t have gone to Refine last night. But I went the day before the Scotland Run and that went well. Next time I rest the day before a race.

A water station! Yes!

Ah, much better. But I still can’t seem to maintain an OK pace. Too difficult.

Maybe I’ll still run into Z, she started off so fast. Where is she?

What will I eat for breakfast? Andy brought home a pretzel croissant, we can split that. But that won’t be enough.

Oh! I can put eggs on my half! I never thought to do that before. How will it taste? Will it be good? Or will eggs ruin the amazingness that is the pretzel croissant?

Why am I pushing so hard? I know I’m not PRing today. Maybe I should just slow down now and enjoy the rest of the run.

No. When I run on my own, I can’t tolerate any discomfort so I never push hard. Whenever I have a really fast run with splits in the 8s, it’s because it feels natural. I never push myself to run fast.

The only time I can tolerate any discomfort while running is during a race. This is why I love racing! I’d never know what I am capable of otherwise.

I need to sign up for more races. I need to show up for more races that I’ve signed up for. Races ARE my speed training.

I could slow down now since I’m not going to PR, but then I’ll waste my opportunity to push myself. I commuted all the way here at 6:30 am, I might as well do my best.

Mile 4

OH! My GPS isn’t on!

And this mileage is way behind where I am in the race. So . . . is my pace not what the watch says? This foot pod is not accurate. Why didn’t my GPS kick in? It always kicks in in Jersey City. With all the problems I had with my Garmin, the one place is always got GPS was Central Park. What the hell?

I can’t believe I can run so much faster than I used to without any knee pain. I remember when every single run, even 3 mile runs, caused terrible pain in my knee.

At my first 10K ever, my knee started hurting around this time. It killed me for the rest of the race! What a difference now.

When did my knee get better? Let’s see . . . my last run with pain in my knee was the Divas Half Marathon. That was October, 2010. I started taking Refine in December 2010 and haven’t had knee pain during a run since — not even my marathon or fastest half marathon.

I think Refine is the reason my knees got better. And the reason I got faster.

Brynn always corrects me by pushing my body slightly more forward than I naturally stand. When I remember to make that correction while I’m running, I definitely can speed up because my body weight isn’t holding me back as much.

What would I do without Refine? Thank G-d they opened a downtown location because I don’t know what I would have done otherwise now that I moved.

This is a nice breeze.

This race is too hard. At least the miles are flying by. I remember how it seemed to take forever at the Women’s Mini 10K because I was pushing so hard. I’m glad it doesn’t feel like it’s taking forever today. I’ll be done soon.

I HATE this little uphill that comes before we get to go down Cat Hill. Push through. Why am I slowing down so much on every up hill? I’m usually OK during hills.

I have no idea what my pace is. How fast am I going? I’ll check how much time has elapsed. I love how easy it is to switch through the stats with the Nike watch.

Water station. Yum.

Hey race photographer! Look at me! Why are you fiddling with your camera? HERE I AM!

OW. Sudden stomach spasm. Ugh.

I want to hear Press It Up. Oh wait. That’s the song that just ended. Oops.

Mile 5

One mile left. I can do this!

My body automatically pushes harder and runs faster towards the end of a race. This is not even a conscious decision.

WHOA nausea. Omg. I am going to vomit.

I suspect the coffee + a faster speed than I should be running. I am not having coffee before a race anymore. I think that contributed to this entire race being so hard. Glad I tried but never again.

The choice is between running fast and possibly throwing up, or slowing down and finishing feeling good. I already know I’m not PRing so I might as well slow down.

Ahhh. That’s better. I still feel sick but I don’t think I will vomit before the finish line.

I do like this down hill.

I wish I knew my real pace.

This last mile always takes forever.

Uphill, grr. Push through.

The course narrowed. Why is everyone going so slow? I’m sick of weaving but I need to finish this so I can be done.

Hey! My fleece isn’t in the spot where I left it. I wonder if NYRR volunteers threw it away. If you see something, say something.

800 meters to go. OK.

Mile 6 – 6.2

Why does the last .2 always feel so long?

400 meters to go. The finish line is so far away. And up a hill.

I don’t have enough in me for a final push. Just keep moving.

I can’t even smile for this race photog. I have nothing left.

200 meters to go.

Ooh La La is playing. I normally love running to this. I wish I could appreciate it. I just can’t.

Look at watch. The mileage is all wrong, but the time says 55:00 and something. What?

The finish line is close. Still too far. Still up hill.

Half-assed attempt at a smile for this finish line photog.

DONE

Look at watch. I didn’t PR but what does this my time mean? I will deal with this when I get home and see my official time.

Cover hand with mouth to try and hold back vomit.

Make my way to the water.

Take a cinnamon raisin bagel.

Need to get out of park. Sneak out of the race under a barrier. Get yelled at by NYRR volunteer.

Nibble small piece of bagel. Feel much better.

I am so glad that is over. That was so hard.

Commute

Alone in the subway car.

Guy second train who also ran race chats with me about my watch.

Crazy guy on second train calls out from across the train to ask if I ran a marathon.

Crazy guy does not stop talking. Smile politely and keep reading.

I’m a little cold with the AC on but I’m fine without my fleece.

Back home

First thing’s first – record “After” of my “Before & After” video for work. Took three takes but I’m happy with the end result. Still forgot to mention my dry skin and dark circles. At least I mentioned my age this time.

Make scrambled eggs on pretzel croissant. Yes, delicious.

Check NYRR website for official time.

Official NYRR time: 55:41
Average pace: 8:58/mi 

WHAT! Wow. Not a PR, but faster than my previous PR before last month’s. My second fastest 10K race ever!

The first time I ran the Healthy Kidney 10K in 2010, I PRd with 1:00:37, although that PR only lasted a month.

I wish my GPS worked so I had accurate splits. I want to analyze the hell out of this! At least I can see which miles were quicker relatively. Although they all seemed to be around the same pace.

Let me check my watch. OH! The GPS was switched to “Off.” How did that happen? I didn’t touch the settings.

F*cking lemons.

I wonder if I’ll have any race pictures. I wonder if I’ll look like I’m dying.

When can I run a 10K race at an average pace of 8:58 and call it a bad run, that is a very good sign.

When you wait a month to write your race recap,the race becomes a lot less exciting.

When all the life changes happen in between the race and the day of the recap, the race becomes a lot less exciting.

When you remember your PR, the excitement returns.

I signed up for the Scotland Run 10K on a bit of a whim. I just started running again March after taking a break. I only ran one time after the Richmond Marathon, a difficult 8-miler a couple of weeks later, and then it got cold and as Andy told you all, I don’t do cold well.

The weather got warmer in March, so back to the running grind I went. Only this time, something was different.

I was much faster.

Like, MUCH faster. I was always a 10 minute mile runner on average. I’d be happy with a run if I finished in anything under 10 minute miles. A few times, I was able to push myself faster – like the Women’s Mini 10K in June 2010 and the 4 Mile Race to Deliver that November. Both those runs were extreme situations. During the first, I was pissed off and during the second, I was gunning for a PR. During both, I felt like death.

But now, I can run sub-9 minute miles and feel great the entire time.

I’m not entirely sure why this is.

My guess is that my newfound speed (relative, of course – I’m still not an actually FAST runner) comes from a combination of factors – the countless sprints and heart rate bursts at Refine Method, all the miles I logged during marathon training and the nice long rest I gave myself.

I signed up for a few 10ks – one in April, one in May, one in June and I plan to sign up for one in July when registration opens.  My goal was to work up to a PR in the June 10K – the Women’s Mini 10k, exactly two years after my last PR in that race.

Once I realized I was naturally faster, I thought maybe I should try to PR in the Scotland Run. The thing is, I didn’t run very often and I didn’t do any type of training or speedwork. But I also knew, based on my recent runs, that I had it in me.

The night before the race, I was debating if I’d even go or not. I realized it started at 62nd street on the west side. I was at Andy’s old apartment on 95th and 3rd, the complete opposite corner of the park. The thought of spending money on a cab, dealing with coat check, getting back home after didn’t seem appealing. I went to bed not sure if I’d do the race. I made a playlist just in case though.

I woke up still not sure if I’d go, but once I got out of bed it was clear I was racing. I got ready, applied my company’s brand new BB Cream for the first time (I sound like an ad, but I really wanted to test this out at a time I needed SPF but wouldn’t wear real makeup) and headed out. A guy who was clearly also going to the race got on the elevator at a lower floor, and I asked him if he wanted to share a cab with me. Then I banged him.

Just kidding.

We did share the cab though, which made my stress about paying to go to the race disappear. I checked my coat and made it to the start with time to spare. It was a gorgeous, sunny, cool day and once I was around all the other excited runners, I was really happy I made the trek to this race. I felt really, really good.

And we were off.

I completed the first mile in exactly 9:00. That was my slowest mile of the race.

I’m sure you can see where this is going. Especially since I already gave it away in the title.

I seriously felt amazing the entire time. The first mile flew by which is always a good sign, and when I feel good I run faster. Central Park’s hills were rough as always but I pushed through. My iPod Nano got into Shuffle mode a few weeks ago and I forgot to try and fix this before the race. It took me a few songs to realize they were out of order, and once I did I was a little upset because Jesse from Flywheel introduced me to a really fun, fast song during his spin class that I wanted to hear – Press It Up by Sean Paul. I never did get to hear it during this race. But the music was still awesome.

It was around mile 5 that things got tough and I was ready for the race to end, which is funny because that was my fastest full mile of the race. As soon as the last mile started, I got nauseous. Very nauseous. I was pushing my body hard and it was time to be done. But I always finish a  race strong, and this one was no exception. As much as I wanted to really sprint at the end, I did what I could knowing I had my PR.

Official NYRR time: 53:55

Official average pace: 8:42

To put this in perspective, I finished my first 10K in December 2009 in 1:03:22. And my 10K PR before this was 56:05. And I had just taken months off from running and didn’t train. I was beyond elated to finish this race and get my PR! I even walked back home after just to extend my happiness outside.

I also snapped this photo when I got back home to see how my BB Cream held up and also because I was very happy. The cream held up well during the race! I have chronic acne on my chin and you’d never know.

Back on topic.

This race made me crave a half marathon. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find a convenient half anytime soon. They changed my beloved Queens Half Marathon (another surprise PR – I think I’m capable of more than I realize) to a 10K. I’m registered for the Newport Liberty Half Marathon in September (right by my new apartment and directly in front of my office) and the Richmond Half Marathon in November (I loved racing there so much last year, I can’t wait to get back) – and I WILL PR in one of those. If not both.

I just hope this newfound speediness doesn’t disappear as suddenly as it arrived.

I’m glad to be back in the racing game. I’ve said it before – I like racing more than I like running. Although now that I’m consistently getting splits in the 8s, I’m beginning to like running a whole lot more. Seeing improvement is the greatest form of motivation there is.

Happy new year! Last year I posted my 2010 DSB Year in Review a little earlier — as in, before the new year — but I also had a lot less going on in my life (read: I had no access to a couch in which to sit and do nothing for hours on end). I ended that post with “I am excited to see where 2011 takes us!” I sometimes lament on how I don’t understand time, and when I wrote that post I did not think for a second about writing this 2011 version, knowing exactly where 2011 took me. I’m glad to be able to say that this year was even better, which I wasn’t sure was even possible at the time.

I never could have known when I wrote last year’s recap that by the same time next year, I would have run one and two-thirds marathons, filmed an online webisode for a huge search engine, fall in love for the first time, find a great job and get quoted in the biggest newspaper in the world, to name just a few. And as always, this blog was instrumental in most of my year.

And if you are one of the 37,000 people who found my blog this past weekend from Texgate lol, I want to say welcome and also that I was advised once to work on not getting frustrated with people who are dumb, but instead to feel fortunate that I (and all of you non-idiots) have a gift that they don’t. It is a very lovely way to think about the world. That said, please send me comments or emails about stupid people you might like to see ridiculed here.

I don’t see the world in such a lovely way.

Anyway, here we go with my 2011 DSB Year in Review . . .

January

On January 1, I rang in the 2011 new year with blogger friends old and new and proclaimed that my goal for 2011 was to find a career where I am writing and doing social media related to health & fitness. I actually achieved that goal (See July ) and even though my job isn’t 100% health & fitness, I am thrilled with what I am doing and there is some fitness-related stuff going on there.

On January 26, I felt legitimized as a blogger who happens to love fitness when I was quoted on page 2 in the New York Times article “Full-Service Gyms Feel A Bit Flabby about getting the most out of my workouts with dedicated, boutique fitness classes.

February

On February 1, I shared my response to that NY Times article — namely that the reason people pay so much for boutique fitness classes and even join on top of already-expensive gym memberships is because these classes produce results.

After alluding to my hip injury that was preventing me from running and taking some of my favorite exercise classes, I finally explained it to everyone in a two part series: My Hip Injury – Part 1 and My Hip Injury – Part 2

Also in February, the amazing exhale spa (home of Core Fusion classes) offered me the chance to try acupuncture to help with my hip. Naturally, I accepted.

March

In early March, a doctor told me I was too pale to run a marathon. This “sports doctor” orthopedist seemed very sure of himself as he chuckled at me for even wanting to do such a thing while my hue was so fair.

And he had some bad timing, since I also started writing a weekly column called Dori’s Quest for NBC New York’s GO Healthy NY website, in which my first post was called How I Got Into The Greatest Marathon in the World.

The best part of March — of every March — is my favorite time of year, my birthday, at which everyone pays attention to Dori. Everyone has to be nice to me and buy me drinks and I get to be a self-absorbed asshole on this blog and post tons of pictures of myself.

Case in point:

The other best part of March? Meeting the boy who likes sitting on the couch and doing nothing as much as I do. And he actually owns a couch so really that’s why I love him.

I promise I own more than one dress.

April

I fulfilled my dream of attending a Wendy Williams show taping, and appeared on the show on April 12 with my blogging friend Heather (formerly of Hangry Pants fame). Here we are beside Rudy Huxtable’s real life mom:

I also published two freelance articles for the incredible Blisstree.com:

• When You Don’t Have IBS: How My Chronic Digestive Problems Took 3 Years to Diagnose
• Core Wha? Top 10 Workouts from A to Physique

And on April 26, it was time to write a blog post but I didn’t have anything to write about. Then my friend forwarded me an email and I just had to make fun of it. Publicly. It epitomized my friend’s and my saying: What is wrong with EVERYONE?! And so the most popular post in my entire blogging career — by far — was created:

Texting and Dating, or Texgate lol 2011 

Have I mentioned how much I love the internet?

May

I finally made it as a blogger after a commenter called me a self entitled c*nt.

In non-texgate news, I started running again after taking six months off from my hip injury and felt like my November NYC Marathon dream might actually be possible after all.

June

On June 11, Missy and I hosted a free IntenSati class as part of the Be Fit NYC initiative on how to make NYC your gym, and even though we had to change the location (it was too rainy for Central Park), lots of people came and it was a huge success as evidenced by this photo of my ass:

And even though I guaranteed had entry to the ING NYC Marathon, I decided to also run the race as part of the Girls on the Run charity program called Solemates because, why not? For the second time (first here), my blog readers helped me raise money for an amazing cause!

July

I explained why July is my favorite month of the year (it is REAL SUMMER!) and in unrelated news my roommate moved out of our 320 square goot apartment. I still do not have a place to put things. I also fulfilled my dream of being recognized for taking the best race photographs of all time and appeared on the NYRR.org homepage!

On July 11, I started training for the ING NYC Marathon — a goal I had in the works for over a year, and the biggest thing I wanted to achieve in 2011.

I also accepted a job offer, accomplishing the goal I mentioned earlier of finding a career that involved writing and social media in the wellness world. Really, I am the social media manager for a number of beauty brands (such as Hydroxatone and Sarah McNamara Beauty) but I love it and I’ve got some wellness-related items in the works there too.

I finished the month with a surprise PR in the Queens Half Marathon — my first half marathon post-injury and one I did not train or plan to run my fastest half marathon at 2:06:27 in. Because I learned I can run a sub-10 minute mile half marathon without great training, this race inspired me to do train correctly and do even better in the half marathon distance next year. I have an ambitious goal for 2012.

August

I revealed the secret video shoot I had been alluding to on my blog for almost two months with my Bing: Friends Matter webisode filmed at Refine Method (founder Brynn Jinnett appears in the video), The Gym at Chelsea Piers and Central Park. This was all about how our friends influence our decision, and exists because of Bing’s partnership with Facebook.

While I was in the best shape of my life during that shoot (which happened in June), in August I started feeling run down and — for the first time since I fell in love with exercise in January 2010 — burnt out.  Goes to show that everyone, no matter who they are or how strong — goes through periods where motivating to work out is hard.

Luckily before that happened, I ran a strong 14 miles — the longest run of my life to date, and the first time I ran farther than the half marathon distance. And it was just a week after my half marathon PR!

And in response to a reader’s question about how I stay in shape, I also explained why I don’t tell you what I eat.

Also in August I was the subject of an interview with my friend Ben Waldman of Motivate Your Ass for NBC New York for his column called Extraordinary Motivation.

September

I ran 15 miles for the first time in my life, and I ran it by myself, which is highly unusual for me with crazy long distances.  I also decided to stop writing for NBC New York’s GO Healthy NY blog because I had less time with my new job.

I ran the 18 Mile Marathon Tune-Up – a race I ran past the year before and knew it would one day be me — where it would appear I outran death:

October

Surprise! I ran 20 miles for the first time — and felt great — on a day I had 19 on my schedule.

And then I ran my planned 20 miler!  With no route planned, Z and I ended up at LaGuardia Airport and Riker’s Island. Those two 20-mile runs both went so great, and I felt so strong both during and after, that I knew I could run 26.2. All doubt about the distance vanished and I felt confident.

November

After a year of qualifying through the NYRR 9+1 program, four months of training, lots of anticipation, excitement and anxiety, and thinking/talking about nothing else for months, it was finally time for the ING NYC Marathon on November 6. Like many things we plan, the race didn’t go as I expected. After suffering indescribable, freak upper-GI pain for a good nine miles, I made the extremely heartbreaking, difficult decision to leave the race at mile 18.

A week later, I surprised most people when I announced that I finished the SunTrust Richmond Marathon in 4:33:29! I completed my first marathon on November 11, 2011 – a good 20 minutes faster than I thought I’d finish. I was so happy and thankful that everything worked out the way it did.

Running that race was the greatest four hours of my life and I still wish I was back inside of it.

On November 22, I announced I was axing Tuesday Blags and instead going to blog when I felt like it. So far, I’ve failed miserably. Happy Tuesday!

December

On December 6, I reflected on what my two years of loving exercise has taught me about myself, which may all have canceled  each other out by points such as “I am lazy” and “I am an underachiever” juxtaposed with “I like pushing myself” and “I am tough on myself.”

I went to my new(ish) job’s holiday party on December 8 which validated my decision to accept said job when I saw they brought in both a caricature artist and a photo booth.

My last post of 2011 was a long-winded explanation of my workout goals for 2012. The short-winded version? I’m only going to take classes I know are excellent or actually want to take, and I am not going to try new classes (either out of curiosity or for review) unless I really, really want to.

And lastly, in December, I received the most thoughtful, meaningful, best present of my life when my brother and sister-in-law sent me this word cloud from my own blog to commemorate my marathon finish. It looks like a sneaker and is fascinating:

So, yeah. I’d say 2011 was pretty great. I ran 585 miles, took more Refine Method and Core Fusion Cardio classes than I can count, ran a marathon, fell in love with a sweet boy with a couch and got an amazing job. I’m in worse shape physically than I was at this time last year, but now that I’m back into taking classes I think things will turn around. And throughout this past year — especially after I was a wreck from my DNF in the NYC Marathon and after I was elated from completing the Richmond Marathon — the support from your comments and emails helped me get through everything. When you’re happy for me, I feel happier for myself. When you commiserate with me, I feel better knowing I’m not alone.

I could not have achieved many of my 2011 accomplishments without this blog and without your support.

I still don’t know what will happen with DSB and my posting frequency, but I can’t imagine not having this record of every month of my life so I’m sure I’ll figure something out. I’ve got great things coming up in 2012 and as always, I’m excited to share it as it happens here.