I cannot believe we are almost midway through March. 2010 is really flying by, huh? It’s time for my recap of my Core Fusion Challenge!

What started as a 30 day challenge — and an amazing opportunity made possible by the generosity of Fred DeVito — turned into 2 months of an experience that totally changed my life in so many ways. Back in December, Fred asked me if I’d like to take Core Fusion classes 4-5 times a week and document my experience on my blog and on the exhale website. Of course I said yes. I was struggling with my weight and body image in November and December, having actually gained a bit of weight from October to that time. I felt uncomfortable, I couldn’t fit into my clothing and I was having a hard time making any substantial changes.

Additionally, I was suffering from a chronic gastrointestinal illness that kept me feeling in pain, bloated, uncomfortable and pretty miserable most of the time. I knew things needed to change and this was my opportunity to make these changes.

I had taken Core Fusion a bunch of times, but never with any regularity. The classes are pricey at $35 a class (made less expensive with class/monthly packages and specials on sites like Rue La La) and a monthly membership is more expensive than a regular gym membership. For that reason, I never seriously considered joining. If I had to choose one thing, I figured I’d choose a gym that costs less and offers a great variety (or so I thought).

So in January I began to take Core Fusion classes regularly. But at the same time, a few other changes occurred. My boyfriend and I ended our relationship, which was stressful because I had to move a lot of stuff into a very tiny apartment – but it was like a breath of fresh air at the same time. I had more time to evaluate my goals and priorities. I took better control of my stomach problems by eating smaller portions which really seemed to help my general discomfort.

I was writing more, as per the requirement for this challenge. As a writer, this was the nudge I needed to get back into practice. I was feeling happier and more positive about everything in my life. And, the most important changes from this time:

I was doing Core Fusion almost every day — finding and learning new things about myself, my strength, my capabilities. At the same time, I was networking with a group of amazing women who were participating in the challenge with me — many from home using the Core Fusion DVDs

I know it was a combination of those things that contributed to my feeling so much better, but I do attribute Core Fusion for helping the rest fall into place. Through these classes, I found my real love for treating my body well — for treating mySELF well, really. I never “loved” exercise other than running before. I did it because I felt like I had to. And I never did any strength training. I knew it was important, but I didn’t really know it was important, you know? I knew it because people said it but it never got through to me enough to put it to practice.

So there I was in January, my life drastically different than just a few weeks before. I was pushing myself through Core Fusion classes, struggling with soreness and bad knees. It was hard but I always felt great at the end of class and I was generally enjoying myself. Then I started taking Core Fusion Yoga and found a yoga love there, which I needed in my life. And I continued to attend Core Fusion and each day continued to love it more.

The results started showing quickly. After just two weeks, a friend of mine noticed muscle definition in my glutes and thighs. After a month, I met with Catherine, the health counselor and Core Fusion teacher I’ve been working with, for measurements and photos. We took measurements at the beginning of the challenge, and I was excited to see what the numbers showed.

And oh how the numbers showed! I lost about .5 inch all over and about 4% of my total body fat in just one month. After posting these results, it came to our attention that at least one person was concerned about these numbers. What I failed to explain in my measurements post was the fact that machines like the body fat/BMI machine include a 4% margin of error. I assumed it was understood, but it appears I was wrong. Additionally, food eaten, hydration and other factors can affect this number.

That said, even if the numbers of the body fat percentage were not my specific numbers, the fact that the number decreased after one month is still valid. The margin of error is the same; the only difference is me. However, to address this issue, Catherine and I met again to do all measurements and photos a third time. The numbers were still incredible. It reported a 3% body fat loss from the beginning of the challenge — still an amazing thing for a month and a half! (In the interest of full disclosure, we did these measurements at the end of the day rather than the beginning like the 4% result). My BMI went down by .2, and I lost about 2 pounds from the first day Catherine weighed me.

However, NONE of those numbers mattered at all to me. What mattered to me was the way I felt. Jeans that I could barely get past my thighs in December, much less close the button on, were now comfortable. Beyond comfortable, in fact. I was suddenly able to wear an entire wardrobe I didn’t have access to previously. One pair of jeans, I wore it all day, through breakfast, lunch and dinner — dinner OUT. And I didn’t feel like I was going to suffocate. I felt great!

In addition to how I felt in clothes, there’s also the matter of how I felt health wise. And the answer is that I felt better than I had in two and a half years, since I first got sick. As I said, I started eating smaller portions which of course contributed. But that’s not such a constant, as the amount I eat changes every day. What stayed the same was the fact that I was taking Core Fusion. I don’t believe I would be feeling as good as I am today if not for taking Core Fusion regularly. I was considering having major surgery in April and now I am not. I’m going to ride this whole “feeling good” wave as long as I can, by continuing to do everything I have been doing that seems to be working — and that includes lots of Core Fusion.

I also have mirrors in my home. I look in these mirrors. I can SEE the differences in my body. I can feel the differences as well. I’ve got muscle definition and tone all over. For those of you who are scared of getting bulky, I’ve got none of that. Just tone and definition. I love making a muscle in my arm and seeing my bicep! And I see it when I don’t plan to, like when I’m in the curl position, holding onto my outer thighs, and I look down at my arms and — HELLO MUSCLE!

I am stronger. Much stronger! I can now do long form pushups (!!!!!!!). I can use a heavier weight for upper body than when I started. I can hold planks for a really long time!! My knees don’t hurt when I run anymore — and I just ran 11 miles on Saturday! My legs don’t shake as much when we do thigh work at the bar. I can get much deeper into the curl position during abs and feel my abs burning more. And of course, there is the issue of my flexibility — being that now, I HAVE SOME! My new favorite part of class is round back against the wall, just because it means I get to show off my newfound flexibility to everyone in the room. Yes, my legs shake the entire time. No, I can’t let go of my calves and put my hands under the bar if that is what the rest of the class is doing. But I CAN DO IT. I can get my legs straight up and stretch them in a new way and look in the mirror and admire how straight they are and feel like I made amazing progress. And I have no doubt in my mind that after a couple months of stretching like this (maybe less?) I will be able to lift my hands off my calves and keep my legs straight up without holding on. It will happen.

In the second month of this challenge, I reaped even many more benefits than the first. This is when I noticed my body begin to reshape, which is something exhale boasts but I needed to see for myself. My body truly is a different shape. For the first time in a long time, I don’t hate my body. I hate to sound so negative, but I have struggled with body image issues for a very long time. Now, I look in the mirror and see all the hard work over the last 2 months. Am I as “thin” as I was a few years ago? No. Do I feel even more confident and happy in how I look and feel than I did a few years ago? YES. I don’t go on the scale because I don’t want it to ever be about the scale again. It is about how I look and feel. I look and feel strong. I look and feel great. My confidence has improved greatly.

And, another friend noticed that my arms are muscular and complimented me a couple weeks ago. Validation is always nice.

One more thing I wanted to cover in this very long recap (sorry!) is the social network support I’ve received throughout this time. When I started the Core Fusion Challenge, I opened it up to anyone who wanted to take part, at class or with the DVDs. I expected some people to follow along but I didn’t expect anything like what I got. I met so many amazing women, all striving to be their best, to work hard, to achieve results. They gave me so much support, encouragement and motivation throughout this time. And they still do now, as I remain in touch with most of them! I even made friends through this! I’ve taken Core Fusion classes with some new people as a result of my challenge who I now hang out with and talk to regularly. How amazing! And I know that every time I write a post or need an opinion, I have a support group ready to hear about my Core Fusion experiences and willing to offer their advice and guidance.

And of course, there is Fred, Catherine and the wonderful teachers at exhale spa who I got to work with this entire time. I was so lucky to have Fred to offer support and answer any questions I had. If something hurt, he gave me expert advice and within a couple days I was as good as new. Catherine has been a rock for me throughout this time as well. I went through some very tough times during the last 2 months — a close friend passed away, I had to adjust to moving back to my tiny apartment after a breakup, another friend betrayed me in a horrible way — and Catherine has been there for me every step of the way, doing all she could to make sure I was okay. If anyone ever needs a health counselor (or to take a great Core Fusion class), I cannot recommend Catherine enough.

The other teachers at exhale have also been incredible. I tried taking as many different teachers as possible during this tim. Every one was fantastic and they all have something special to offer. Exhale does a spectacular job at training these teachers (16 week training program!) and as a result, we get teachers who know how to teach well, correct our form, push us harder and make us want to be better with each class.

I tried taking as many different types of classes as possible. Core Fusion was the main goal here, to be supplemented with the other class offerings at exhale.  As a result, I tried Core Fusion Yoga, Music Yoga Flow, Yoga – Level 1 and Core Fusion Cardio. I continue to take Core Fusion Yoga and Core Fusion Cardio about once a week each, as well as Core Fusion a few times a week, and I just love every class. I crave them. As soon as one class ends, I want to go back for more. It is addicting but not in an unhealthy way. It is simply fun. I’m not trying to lose weight, I am trying to be the best version of me I can be. This challenge helped me realize how I can go about this and gave me an amazing starting point.

While my Core Fusion Challenge has officially ended, my Core Fusion experience is far from over as I continue to take class just as much as I have been. The results, the positivity I feel, the calmness and peace at the end of each class — I am not willing to give any of this up. I can tell you with certainty that Core Fusion simply works. It is worth the price because a gym membership won’t get you these results – especially if you are like me and don’t bother with strength training. I brought a few friends to try Core Fusion and they are all hooked. The experience is much more enjoyable than what a gym could give you. It is hard to motivate yourself but the teachers at Core Fusion do the job quite well!

I hope you try it out if you haven’t yet. If you are a brand new student, you can try a week of unlimited classes for just $40. The DVDs are all affordably priced as well on Amazon as well. The brand new DVD which is more like a real Core Fusion class is called Lean & Toned and comes out in May. I will be reviewing it here closer to then and I am very excited about it.

Thanks for keeping up my entire challenge! The Core Fusion Challenge came into my life at the perfect time. I am so happy you got to share it with me.

Update below!
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I found out that I did not get accepted into the NYC Half Marathon through the lottery process. Or, I should say, I had a nightmare about not getting in and I woke up and checked the computer, which confirmed that I did not, in fact, get in.

I’m pretty crushed about this for a number of reasons, the main one being that this race takes place on my birthday, March 21. When will that ever happen again??! A new, ambitious distance to conquer ON my actual birthday? And I just started running back in June, so a half marathon on the start of a new year for myself would really set the stage for the year to come. Plus, how pumped would you be for a race before and during it if it was your birthday! It would have been a really cool start to a new year.

The other big reason I am upset is because I am on the fence about surgery. I haven’t made any decisions and won’t until I am 100% sure. But, if I do have surgery in April as I had originally planned, it might not be possible for me to run a half marathon anymore.  I’d really like to accomplish this goal before then.

I had selected April as a tentative time for surgery for a number of reasons, most importantly because my position at work is ending on March 31. It just made sense to do this when I don’t have to take a month of work off. However, if I were to find a new job within the next couple months, I would change my plans.

But again, I am not 100% sure I am even doing the surgery. I still have doubts.

I know there are other half marathons. I am considering abandoning the surgery idea and doing the More Magazine/Fitness Magazine Women’s Half Marathon in April.  But I am not ready to commit yet without knowing what is going on with my medical situation. And if I sign up, it would be making a decision on surgery before I am ready. But I am considering it. Strongly…

And I have been toying with the idea of guaranteed NYC Half Marathon entry by running for a charity. While this is of course a wonderful thing to do, I am not sure about this either because I would have to raise at least $1,000 depending on which charity I choose, and I don’t know if I can do that. Do you have any good ideas for fundraising? I’m not one to organize any type of blogger bake sale, but I would be interested in hearing any other ideas you have. If $1,000 can seem attainable and not a big scary number, I might do it. But I’d have to decide soon because I need to train.

Maybe I am overreacting or being dramatic. This is just a race, after all. There are much more important things to worry about; I do realize that.  It is also 5:05 am right now so maybe I just need to sleep and wake up and I will feel better. But for now, please let me know what you think about me running for a charity.

Thanks blogworld.
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Update: I signed up with a charity and I have an amazing fundraiser coming. More info coming soon!!!!

Back in June, I did a three day Blueprint Cleanse. Then, in October, I did Organic Avenue LOVEdeep for five days.

And now I am on the third day of another three day Blueprint Cleanse. Last time I chose the Level 3 Excavation Cleanse. This time I opted for Level 1, the Renovation Cleanse. This is because while I love green juice and drink it every day, I really don’t like BPC’s green juice. I figured out that it is because they include romaine, which just doesn’t taste good juiced to me. Level 3 contained four green juices a day, while Level 1 only contains two. Two I can handle.

[Source]

Level 1 contains these six juices in the following order each day:

(1) Green Juice, (2) Pineapple Apple Mint, (3) Green Juice, (4) Spicy Lemonade, (5) Carrot Beet Apple Lemon Ginger and, the one I look forward to all day long, (6) CASHEW MILK.

Why did I decide to shell out my hard earned and in limited supply cash now to do yet another juice fast?

• My stomach has been BAD lately. Bloating, pain, etc. I had no relief. Once again, I needed a break.
• I overindulged over the holiday weekend, even though I a Jew!  Needed to get back on track.
• I got an email from BPC offering 25% off. An offer I couldn’t refuse given my other reasons.

So here I am on Day 3 and I must say it hasn’t been too bad at all. I’m doing this with my good blogger friend Maggie which has been great for support. We gchat all day about the cleanse. Maggie is doing Level 3 which is good for her since she loves the greens. She actually hates the cashew milk, which is my favorite. I want to do a cashew milk only cleanse. If only I could trade Maggie my greens for her cashew.

The first day was tough in the sense that I just wanted to eat. I was working from home and I was in noshing mode. Of course, there was no actual need to nosh, especially since I had a food filled weekend upstate with my mom, brother, Mallory and her family. The weekend consisted of peanut butter cup cookies, noodle pudding, sweet potato casserole, broccoli casserole, french toast . . . you get the picture. Not the way one is supposed to transition into a cleanse, but what can you do.

I decided to use my rebounder  during the day (figured this would be a great time to reap its benefits) but ended up only doing 10 minutes due to work and laziness.

Once again, I was surprised by how not hungry I was. That doesn’t mean I didn’t want food (I had crazy cravings for foods I don’t even eat anymore), but I was full from my juices. I wasn’t even able to finish the red one (carrot, beet, apple, lemon, ginger) because I was so full. I did finish my beloved cashew milk. YUM. Made the whole day worth it. It is made with vanilla bean, agave and cinnamon.

And even though I went to bed full, I didn’t feel like I usually do after dinner — stuffed, unable to move, blah. None of that. I felt fine, but satisfied.

I woke up Tuesday morning and felt different. It was a sensation upon waking I have not experienced since, well, my last juice fast. How to describe it? I didn’t feel like my stomach was . . . there. Does that make sense? Normally when I wake up, the first thing I feel is my a heavy weight in my stomach. It sticks out in front of me. Now, it doesn’t always LOOK like it is sticking out. But it always, always feels like it. I wake up every day with this weight.

On Tuesday, I woke up with no weight.

I knew this cleanse was worth it.

When I got out of bed, I lifted my shirt and looked in the mirror. I didn’t recognize my own body. All the lumps and random spots of bloat throughout my abdomen were gone. I looked almost like I did before I got sick (I say almost because I did still gain weight). I wanted to wear a bikini! Too bad it’s the middle of winter. I miss being able to wear a bikini.

I sat down to work (from home again) and I just couldn’t get over how great I felt. No pain at all. No discomfort at all. I decided to get in a little workout and went to the building gym for 30 minutes on the elliptical.

When I got back, I started struggling. I just wanted to eat something post-gym. I told Maggie I was having a hard time. It’s hard not eating when you’re used to eating. I missed tastes, flavors, textures. Just like the last time. It is especially hard when you follow foodies and food companies on Twitter and read food blogs for fun.

I got back on track pretty easily, though. At 5:00 I left to go to my mom’s in Queens to visit with her, my brother and Mallory. Things got very difficult when Mallory made homemade vodka sauce for penne a la vodka. I wanted it so badly. I considered taking one piece of penne to try, but I didn’t. And luckily for me, they ate all the food up, and pretty quickly, so there was none for me to steal later. I did, however, take two slices of cucumber — one of Blueprint Cleanse’s allowed “cheat foods.”

I was able to finish all my drinks and even finish the one I couldn’t finish the day before. I really wanted tea — herbal tea is encouraged on BPC — but my mom didn’t have any. Instead, I made hot water with cinnamon and drank two mugs of  that. I assume cinnamon is OK since it is in the cashew milk. And it was really good! I wouldn’t mind drinking that every now and again.

Once again, the cashew milk was the star of the day. It was my redemption. My treat for getting through another day. And it is so filling, so even though I was awake watching Funny People after finishing it and then took a really long time falling asleep, I never felt hungry or tempted to get some food.

I woke up this morning at 7:30. Day 3.  Not hungry. At all. Worked until 9:00 before starting my hot water with lemon (blech) and first green juice. I didn’t finish the first green juice until 11.

I wasn’t very hungry and I have a really hard time getting the greens with romaine down.

Then my brother and Mallory came home with a box of Dunkin Donuts. WHAT.  Mallory also had a white hot chocolate! I never tried that before. I needed to know, I took a tiny sip. Heaven.

Moving on.

I have not taken any doughnuts. In a way, it is good I am doing the cleanse now because I probably would have gorged myself on doughnuts. Last night, I likely would have gone overboard on the garlic bread and pasta. So this is a good thing. I also would have gone to Applebee’s tonight if not for the cleanse. I am grateful to the cleanse in this sense.

So here I am in the middle of  Day 3, sitting next to a box of doughnuts. I’m not starving. I am only on juice #2 and it is 12:00. I can get through today. My stomach is calm. No rumbling, no movement, no pain, no bloat, no discomfort.

Oh yeah and it is flat. Sigh. I will miss this when it’s gone.

This is all bittersweet. I feel amazing now. I wish I could eat no solid food all the time, but obviously that is not possible. As great as I feel now, I know that as soon as I eat food again all the old problems will come right back. I wish I could wear a feeding tube attached to one of those silver stands with wheels like in hospitals, and just walk around with that all day.

And, I miss food. I miss eating. I miss flavors. I miss noshing.

I don’t think I will do another cleanse for awhile since they are costly and in the end, not so worth it for my long term comfort. I spend so much money on my GI problems, it’s just not something I can stick with. I am glad I did BPC again, though, and even gladder that I went to Level 1 this time. So much better than Level 3 for me. And I still have my cashew milk to look forward to at the end of the day.

Maybe I’ll put on a bikini tonight.

I RAN MY FIRST 10K!!! I can’t wait to post my recap and more importantly my amazing playlist, but not tonight. Here’s a brief explanation why.

There was an unfortunate accident involving red wine and my computer.

My writing homework is due Wednesday but I had to ask for an extension due to no computer. I will be working on that the rest of the week/weekend when I have a computer.

I want to give my race recap the attention it deserves! I didn’t run the race half-assed; I will not write the post half-assed.

My stomach is a serious disaster. I hate it. I am miserable. I just want to go have the surgery and not cry about this anymore. I am suffering and I am ready for this to be over. I need this to be over.

I had to cancel the Core Fusion class I was really looking forward to tomorrow morning because of above stated stomach problems. I am trying to do much more strength training and this week’s planned 2 Core Fusion schedule was going to kickstart it. Now, I am only going Friday morning. I hope. Still better than none!

Related to that, the boy has agreed to be my “trainer” once a week for strength purposes.

Work is crazy!! I am working on a major project that goes live on January 1. There is so much to do before then to make sure that day is not a disaster.

I have plans for so many nights over the next few weeks which is so unlike me. I saw a friend yesterday, seeing my cousin tomorrow, the boy’s office holiday party Thursday and two more friends next week. I also have two more 3 hour writing classes (so ready to have my Wednesdays back) plus lots of homework.

I hope to post my 10K once I find out if I am in any official photographs! I really think I will be this time. I smiled at many a camera along the way.

Sorry if I sound whiny or excusey. I am so happy for everything I have in my life, like the ability to run 10K, see friends often, a brother who is mush and take writing classes. I just need a good long rest. And maybe a surgery.

I might be too late but here is a contest at Hangry Pants for a yoga mat I want.

Have a great week!

Remember that type of puzzle on Wheel of Fortune??

So on Saturday, Missy announced some exciting news on her blog: Shape magazine contacted her to do a little feature about her weight loss a few years ago! They wanted to do a photo shoot of Missy doing an exercise she regularly does, and after the Core Fusion location didn’t work out, they decided to take pictures in a spin studio instead. The magazine told her to bring some friends along to pose as spin classmates. Missy asked me, her sister and our friend Melanie — and of course I said yes!

Early Saturday morning, I woke up and got dressed in an unusual pairing: workout clothes and full face of makeup. I walked over to the gym, which was conveniently at a New York Sports Club just a few blocks from the boy’s. I even stopped at Juice Generation along the way for a fresh pressed green juice. I arrived at the gym before the other girls, so it was just the NYSC employee, the camera men and me! It felt strange to be alone in a large gym. It also felt strange to see myself looking so even skinned and lip glossed in gym mirrors!

Shortly after Melanie arrived, and then Missy and her sister. We went into the spin room and the photographers arranged our bikes  and we got started. They instructed us to smile and snapped one picture after another. I wasn’t sure when was an appropriate time to blink, or to rest my smile for a second. I ended up not doing much of either.

But I loved it. I have to say, I could spend all day every day just smiling for cameras. I love pictures of myself! Not that I love how I look in pictures, but I just love smiling for them and being in them!

The people at this gym are kinda nuts. A spin class was starting at 9:30, so we had instructions to be out before then. At 8:45, an angry mob loomed outside the spin studio demanding entrance. Who goes to class 45 minutes before it starts?! These people were NOT happy. I also must mention that I tried to sign up for this spin class and found out that it booked up 2 days before. These people sure do love their spin. And they weren’t about to let a silly national magazine photo shoot get in the way of it!

One of these psychos was carrying a backpack from my own company’s fitness center. I didn’t say anything to him about it, but it does appear he belongs to 2 gyms. Or maybe he no longer works at my company; few do any more.

One woman in particular went especially crazy. She camped herself in front of the door and wouldn’t move, angrily mumbling to herself the entire time. She seemed to be, along with the company backpack man, the leaders of the mob.

Eventually, the mob forced their way in to the photo shoot and started setting up camp on bikes, even taking it upon themselves to MOVE the bikes back to their original locations (they were all rearranged for the shoot). These people are nuts!

After the shoot, the photographer showed us the proofs on the computer and they look amazing! Missy especially looks beautiful. The magazine comes out in January and I can’t wait!

Since spin filled up and I didn’t have regular sneakers with me (silly me), I used a wrench I carry in my gym bag to tighten my spin shoes to instead remove the hooks from the shoes. Oh G-d I hope I can get them back on. In retrospect, I really should have taken a picture of how they looked before removing them. Once I removed the feet clips I was able to go use the elliptical.

I started to feel some serious gym envy. I used to belong to a gorgeous, 7 floor (+ rooftop deck), fancy and expensive gym. After I injured my knee, started going for weekly expensive stomach treatments, and officially stopped going to my own apartment for anything other than mail, I quit that gym and started running outside and using the boy’s building gym.

Now, running outside season is over. The building gym is so boring I cannot bring myself to get there. There are no TVs that you can actually listen to and they have the type of ellipticals that I hate — as in, the type that have NO incline option. I never get a good workout on them! There are some boring treadmills, although I need like a TV to run anything more than 3 miles on them — if I even get to the place to do that (oy I sound like a whiny brat.). There is one very old stairmaster and a couple of even older bikes. I am not complaining! Having a building gym is a luxury that I never knew before, and it was so cool for me at first. But the coolness wore off as I find myself opting to sit at home watching TV rather than go there. It is just too boring and un-fun to take.

So here I am at a gym with tons and ton of machines. Machines I never even heard of! There is one that is like an elliptical and a stepper combined — anyone know of that one? It looked so cool! There are regular treadmills and also unusual treadmills that I am not sure the purpose of  — but would love to find out. There are so many of the ellipticals I love and miss (WITH incline) and also a bunch of the ones I don’t like as much. There are stairmasters and even the kind with moving stairs. Those are hard and I never get to do it anymore. And the best part of it all? Every single machine had its own TV. Every. Single. Machine.

And there are classes. When I was in the spin room for the photo shoot, Missy’s awesome house music was playing and I felt like I was in a class — and I wanted, craved, to be in a spin class. I miss it. I will never go overboard with it again, maybe once or twice a week at most, but I do miss it. I loved it, it was a part of my life. And there are some other classes as well, although this definitely seems like more of a machine gym for me.

As I was happily trotting away on the elliptical, I got to thinking. My thoughts went something like this:

I am sweating so much after just 15 minutes on this elliptical. I never sweat on the apartment elliptical. I can set this to intervals! It does the hard work for me, I just have to follow along. I am getting such a great workout, I will never have another workout like this all winter long. And the treadmills! I can definitely run good distances with my own TV! And I want to do that stair machine, and that hybrid machine and those strange treadmills. I want the option of spin.

If I stick with the apartment gym, the way things have been going, I will rarely work out. Look at me now. I ran a couple times a week outside to prep for my race, but the race is tomorrow and then what? On my training plan’s “cross-training” days, I didn’t even cross train. I just sat on the couch! If I belonged here, I would go and actually get some good workouts in. My endurance is so low, my strength non existent, I think I could improve my mood and myself if I join this gym.

Uhhh yeah. As for distance, it is not super close to the boy’s but it is an easy walk when the weather is agreeable and an easy bus ride door to door when it is not. And there is a NYSC across the street from work, so that would double my chances of making it to the gym. I always wanted to be able to workout during lunch and it always bothered me that I wasn’t allowed to join my own company gym due to a stupid rule that is surely causing them to lose a lot of money these days.

So, armed with the information of what all my friends who belong there pay, I marched myself to the membership office prepared to join. I figured especially now, during this economy, gyms were not doing so well. I read an article about it in the paper not long ago. I figured there must be some really great rates to get members in.

Wrong!

The price they gave me for the Gold membership, which would get me full access to my home gym and off peak access to other NYSCs was a much higher price than all my friends pay for their better Passport membership, which gets them access to all NYSCs at all hours. I told them this but they didn’t seem to care. The price discrepancy was huge, with the smallest being a $20 a month difference and the largest much more than that. But that is not even the issue. The issue is that I just can’t afford it. I don’t have the money.

So I left.

But of course I couldn’t stop thinking about it. My mind was set. And I wondered why I can’t afford the price they gave me . . . and of course, it hit me quickly, since I’m not an idiot.

I can’t afford a gym membership because I pay, in addition to $500/month on health insurance, about $650/month on other medical treatments, appointments, prescriptions, etc to maintain my day to day life with as little pain as possible. $500 alone is devoted completely to a weekly treatment I receive. It is no wonder I can’t afford a gym membership.

So I started thinking. One less treatment a week could help me pay for the gym. But then what about my GI health? But then what about my health cardiovascularly? What about my strength? What about being able to get out of bed in the morning without crying in pain?

Therein lies the predicament.

I want so much to create a healthy balance in my life: food, fitness, overall health. This balance is not possible as my overall health takes up ALL my resources. I already can’t eat salad. Now I can’t go to the gym?

Of course, all these stresses reinforce the fact that I now want to have this surgery. I need my life back.

I’m sure some of you are thinking I could try and get a discount from my health insurance (requires a year commitment and only saves a couple dollars) or from my job (same exact deal as the insurance, right down to the discount company used). So those options are not possible.

Back to the issue at hand. I decided to try and cut back on one medical treatment a month so I could have some money for the gym. This was a very hard decision and I am not 100% sure if it is the right one, but the gym is not permanent. I could be done after just 2 months if I decide it isn’t worth it. But since it is now two days after the photo shoot and I am still obsessing over the idea of a gym membership, I think I need to try. This is how I am. I obsess until I do. But first, I get to sample! Missy is giving me a free 1 week guest pass to New York Sports Club, so I can try the gym out for a week and then decide for sure what I want to do.

Although you know as well as I do that my decision has already been made. I am joining a gym.

After my free trial week is up, of course.

Do you consider the gym/working out a priority? Do you think it is worth it to spend a little money for your health?