I do. Repeatedly. Every time I have to say my name to someone on the phone who doesn’t understand it. Not only do I have to make the sound Dori slowly and repeatedly, I also have to renounce the other party’s assertions that what I am actually saying is Laurie, Lauren,  Dora, Dorin and so on. And it’s not that they didn’t hear me make the sound Dori or didn’t understand me. It is that they can’t possibly grasp the fact that Dori is, in fact, my name. Once they finally get it, they tend to then ask what Dori is short for. Why is it so hard to believe that my name would be Dori!

So the answer to your question, dear searcher, is me!

Excellent question! I wish I could help.  I try to guage my neighbors by walking around wearing my shirt with the below logo. My friend Jonathan got it for me as a goodbye gift — even though he was the one who was leaving! Anyway, when your neighbors see you in this shirt and run away, that is a pretty good sign that they might be raptors. Also, it is currently up for debate as to whether or not raptors can pick locks. So be careful.

I am adding a brand new feature to this blog — Unknowing Questions from Readers.  As you might have read in an earlier post, I like to read what search terms people use to find my blog. Now I will use this information and answer the searches that are in the form of questions. I am an advice columnist to unknowing lost souls!

Today’s question: Is it okay to eat outdated oatmeal?

Well, internet searcher, the answer is a resounding NO. It is not okay to eat any outdated food at all. Sure, there’s a chance the food is fine — after all, what is the difference between oatmeal on December 25 and oatmeal on December 26. But, the date was chosen for a reason, and for the sake of your tummy I think it would be best to stick to that date!

And I would like to thank you, searcher, because your question inspired me to check my old boxes of Oatmeal for their expiration dates. I was saving them for when my stomach got better, but I realized I should give them to my friend Melissa who would eat them up.

As it turns out, all were expired except for the best – SMART BALANCE. They have until January 16, so I will be sure to get them to Melissa before then!